Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
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Top comments
lindseylindsey39 0
Hahah I do that all the time.
rukusrazor 0
Eww, stall call.
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Comments (194)
Six_and_the_Moon 3
Meh. I would have just laughed. It baffles me how people get so freaked over using the toilet. Unless the person can actually *hear* you using it (plop plop fizz fizz, anyone?) or you are incapable of using one hand and thus touching the phone with your hands before you wash them, who honestly cares? There are so many worse things to worry about than someone weeing or logging out while they talk to you. A few of my friends will chat with me on MSN on their laptops while using the washroom. I really don't care. I'm halfway across town in my comfy chair watching videos and eating Smarties. They could be fapping to pr0ns or shaving their arse for all it matters. Not an FML, IMO. Not a big deal.
spf_thunder 0
ur an idiot
Purane2forever 0
JEEZE #168 ur a dick.. n i didnt even kno girls pooed
Choochii 0
LMAO..
beany212 0
My nose hurts now. Why? Because you shouldn't drink soda and read FML at the same time.
lastminuteperm 0
Good job.
DevineLegacy 0
thats grose, just say u would call them back, bad impulse to say that. just make a joke out of it
Lovebug27 0
#169 did u ever take a health class or even no a girl and it didn't say if she bm or just peed so ya
supernova77_fml 0
#30 ~~ what a waste of water >>" ~ wut did u think tht yr husband wud think u were gross if he heard u droppin bombs ..? if it bothers u tht much, close the door and use sum febreeze.
terriibabiiix23 0
first of all, whose "him" ? your bf ? well, imma just assume that it is. second, you could have covered the mouth piece on the phone so when you yelled, your bf wouldn't hear that. YDI for being dumbb.
ellawea 0
who is he? nice.