Kids: Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old...

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 8 895

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Same thing different taste

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 2 608

By momlife - 28/03/2016 20:45 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 129

You deserved it 2 088

"Pooping and Shit"

By everybodypoops - 02/08/2017 20:00

Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 882

You deserved it 546

Express yourself

By Embarassed - 18/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 124

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 627

You deserved it 74 789

Privacy

By whyme27 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 938

You deserved it 4 479

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 722

Dump the dump

By lily anne - 30/01/2022 02:00

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 144

By sleepy - 23/05/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 884

You deserved it 8 366

blondeamazonian 18

Wednesday 11 March 2015 18:34

Life with a toddler. Not sure what more could have been expected from that moment...

abbyade 21

Wednesday 11 March 2015 18:34

Lol that's so adorable. Lol I don't know what you were expecting her to say. Cute!

Comments

Skinyrd 17

Wednesday 11 March 2015 18:33

Oh shit. Haha. Too soon?

muzy 23

Wednesday 11 March 2015 23:15

I thought I was the only one who did that when I was younger!

Skinyrd 17

Thursday 12 March 2015 0:37

I've embarrassed my parents way worse than that haha.

suszyy 9

Wednesday 11 March 2015 18:33

at least you know shes an honest little one lol

gear4 29

Wednesday 11 March 2015 18:33

that must have been shitty to hear

evanjl4 13

Wednesday 11 March 2015 21:08

*The down vote tsunami is coming*

gear4 29

Thursday 12 March 2015 2:37

*witch doctor voice* ohhhhh yeaaaaaaaaa

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 13 March 2015 8:20

^wtf

blondeamazonian 18

Wednesday 11 March 2015 18:34

Life with a toddler. Not sure what more could have been expected from that moment...

mxgirl1998 26

Thursday 12 March 2015 3:48

I agree, kids are full of unexpected things. I'm sure whoever was on the phone will hopefully find humor in it.

Brandi_Faith 33

Thursday 12 March 2015 5:30

No offence op, but this is ydi to me. You asked a 3 year old to answer your phone, what did you think she'd say? Plus, It's not like she'd be able to hold much of a conversation (well one that wasn't too embarrassing) while they were waiting for you to get out of the bathroom. You probably should've waited till you were done. Lol.

blondeamazonian 18

Thursday 12 March 2015 6:20

I actually voted ydi on this one in a humorous way. The kid is a three year old, so not much good can come out of that phone call. I was just hoping that caller was a close friend or family member, someone that wouldn't be to embarrassing for the op. Or a telemarketer. That works too.