By ahddib - 14/10/2010 02:13 - United States
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From what I see when people talk about their partners... Most of the time those that complained about lack of sex in relationship were just so horrible in bed (lasted 2 min, cared only about their pleasure) and then they bitch. No wonder their partners won't sleep with them, no sex is way better than horrible/bad sex.
lighten up #91. I'm kidding. I could also say that it's fucked up for you to say that about West Virginia as well. and #110 it was midnight when I posted that where I'm at, I scrolled up and saw Alabama, and I immediately thought of all the redneck incest jokes and thought the comment thread could use the humor. No one said every post had to be 100% original 100% of the time.
maybe u should have stopped?! you know since she was saying "ouch" maybe u should have checked to make sure she was okay?!
That's what I was wondering. She just laid there, did nothing, gave not a single sign of having pleasure, on the contrarery, she said ouch, and you didn't stop, becaaaauuuuuuse? Was sex such a long time ago that you forgot how to do it right? You, sir, did it incredibly, in-cre-di-bly wrong. You should have talked to her once you knew she was bored, you should have asked what she wanted, or didn't want, or why she wasn't enjoying it, but nooo, mister selfish man just kept going. Selfish, selfish, it's astonishing. If my boyfriend looks like he isn't enjoying it, I talk to him. And if I just lay there, he knows there's something wrong with me, and you now what? He stops. And talks. Because he respects and loves me. You, sir, didn't show respect at all. I pity your wife. But I must say, if you didn't talked to her, she should have done it. She just let you take advantage of her, nothing more, no love, no romance, no pleasure... did you actually enjoy it? No? But still continue? Desperate sir, desperate. Try having sex more, and open your mouths. Both of you. Maybe she cheats, I don't know, but if this a normal reaction from her during sex, she obviously does not enjoy it, and maybe, maybe, she will search it with another man. Or woman, never know. Lack of communication, ugh.
first of all, I am sex deprived. If i never asked her for it I'd never get it at all. One time I went as far as 6 months without asking and she never showed any interest. Whenever I've actually brought up the issue she gets hysterical and tells me that "I should go get a concubine because I (she) don't satisfy you (me)." I haven't cheated on my wife and have no intention of doing so, but this bullshit is driving me nuts. I think it hurts her because she just plain is not sexual at all and therefore doesn't get wet. I am larger than most men, but still it's crazy. This is not how she was to begin with, and I don't know how have lasted the 4 years tbh. Perhaps I should have mentioned in the OP that I am the one taking care of the kids and she doesn't have a job at the moment as well as the sex depravity. She consented, and she doesn't fake liking it. I know that because I am really good at oral and usually start with that (when we did have a sex life) and she's a squirter. she hates lubes, almost refuses to do any of the work, and rarely gives head. and NO i wasn't in the wrong hole. Hell often when she does get wet it still hurts. Second thing, is I am a stay at home dad. I clean the dishes, make the food, care for the children/house while she is supposed to be chasing her dreams and working (not surfing FB,) so everyone who argued that she was too tired or busy with kids have no validity in my situation. Either way, I appreciate everyone's comments and such vulgar, valid or no. Letting this out is helping me deal with the situation emotionally. I have been trying to solve the problem for a while, but to no avail. Oh, and I did stop after the ouch sounded serious :/ the first few were groans, and sometimes that's a good thing in intercourse with normal people. ahddib
Foreplay isn't everything. Couples need to spend some time with each other, and that can be hard if you have kids. See if you can arrange for someone to take the kids occasionally, so you two can go out. Also spend some time just cuddling, without necessarily aiming for sex - just to get some physical intimacy again. If she does get wet at some point - just focus on non-penetrative sex for now. Having an orgasm again will make her think more positively about sex. Also, what's this "chasing dreams" thing about - is it not working out? She may be feeling she's letting you down and not getting anywhere. Perhaps the way you share responsibilities now is no longer right for her - then you need to talk about that. Just some ideas, hope there is something useful among them. Good Luck.
133- Just to throw an idea out there, foreplay doesn't always have to be physical. If you can plan a night where you and the hubby/fiance/boyfriend can stay in, do it. Text him early on in the day so that he's thinking about it all day long. Voila. Works like a charm for the ladies, too.
OP, is it possible that she's depressed? If "chasing her dreams" isn't working out well, in combination with any number of other things, it could lead to depression, which often leads to reduced sex drive. Maybe she suffered from postpartum depression, and hasn't recovered? Being on birth control can lower sex drive too, so if this all started at the same time as she started using a new form of birth control, maybe a different form would help. Obviously, I don't actually know your wife or your situation, but those are both things (depression and birth control) that have killed my sex drive in the past, and it really sucked.
If it hurts for the wife, it could be a medical condition. There are lots of women that find sex painful, and it could have to do with ovarian cysts, or a host of other medical problems. If she truly finds it painful, even with lube, and all of that, then she should probably go see an gynecologist.
I think that he should have stopped but you don't need to be so hard on him, people make mistakes. Just because your relationship is good doesn't mean everyone else's is so stop being so judgemental. Also, just because the wording may be different doesn't mean it was rape.
She didn't exactly say stop no and if she was not enjoying it that much she would have made him stop. I know saying ouch is pretty obvious but some people don't really think the way you do. As weird as it may seem, he might not have actually known and isn't a mind reader.
I figured if u were married u would know how to do sex right lol. but what person just lays there