Intimacy: Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were...

By ahddib - 14/10/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 196

You deserved it 10 347

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Same thing different taste

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 1 790

Waste of time

By I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 124

You deserved it 532

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 061

You deserved it 7 587

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 041

You deserved it 16 160

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 162

You deserved it 8 656

Time for some DIY

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 22:00

Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 358

Being a parent 101

By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 280

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 569

You deserved it 49 709

Not now

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 23:00

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 258

Technique

By jlowder2 - 11/12/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 206

You deserved it 31 160

truthishly 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 9:24

maybe u should have stopped?! you know since she was saying "ouch" maybe u should have checked to make sure she was okay?!

justsayfuck 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 9:08

Guess she was too tired for faking.

Comments

jrezo757 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 13:24

that's why I will never get married this should be on the marriage papers when you have to sign them

Miolene 6

Thursday 14 October 2010 13:36

Ok for all you people saying he raped his wife, that is really wrong and uncalled for. If his wife didn't want to have sex she just needed to say, communication seems to be an issue in this marriage. Clearly the reason it was hurting was because she wasn't in the mood and therefore she either needed to tell him this, stop, or have some foreplay instead of jumping right in there. If I had been him I would have stopped as soon as she started saying ouch, just purely because I could tell she was not enjoying it and that would be a huge turn off.

Jonscarl 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 13:45

not much love in that relation ship is therr

iHateThisLife 10

Thursday 14 October 2010 14:06

time to spice ur romance again.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 14:07

Not everyone likes surprise buttsex. The more you know...

GreatMelinko 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 17:16

lmao!

s8n666 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 14:33

Ouch? Are you sure you are putting it in the right spot?

ilovefall10 21

Thursday 14 October 2010 14:38

okay i can only think of 3 things 1. you're wife was to focus on trying to keep quiet so you're kids won't hear you.. 2. maybe she was tired and give out from everything and just wasn't in the mood. 3. .. you need to work on you're skills.

mnm5671 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 14:59

maybe you suck at sex

tnlander 20

Thursday 14 October 2010 15:06

she didn't perform for OP because I had already worn her out. He got bone dry seconds.

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 14 October 2010 15:07

The biggest turn in for alot of busy moms is to share the workload with the kids. Give the kiddos a bath and get them to bed without having to be asked for help. Take the kids with you outside to play while your wife gets a moment aone to rest. Little things like that help ALOT. Your wife may be exhausted from caring for your kids all day.