Health: Today, I shat out a staple. FML

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 609

You deserved it 17 971

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 681

You deserved it 35 744

By 41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 743

You deserved it 3 621

By leprechaun23 - 23/04/2012 04:21 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 286

You deserved it 4 311

By Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 272

You deserved it 49 055

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 658

You deserved it 985

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 483

You deserved it 7 415

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 120

Jeremy?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 22:00

Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 258

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 548

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 488

You deserved it 12 936

rockerbaby3192 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:45

why did you eat one

BShady96 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:31

this fml was so short i had trouble opening it on my iphone -.-

Comments

J0gby 0

Friday 10 June 2011 7:13

how did that get in there?

Prankster7o7 5

Friday 10 June 2011 7:24

Pissed me off, so I gave up on it.

andrew7mae 0

Friday 10 June 2011 8:02

did you go all scavenger to find it?

sj101990 3

Friday 10 June 2011 8:03

it's sad that over half of the comments on here have to do with people not being able to open this on their iPod/iPhone/iPad/iPieceOfShit

MeyMeyChan 6

Friday 10 June 2011 8:25

Mr. Stapler.. That's just an ordinary day for you.

soulfulemo 0

Friday 10 June 2011 8:27

obviously....

taazer 12

Friday 10 June 2011 9:10

how did it get there.. but im sure the postoffice would love to hire you.. cause your like that donkey that ***** out gold, but instead of gold you shit out syamps :D

emodude44 0

Friday 10 June 2011 9:17

Why did you eat one?

justfienne 12

Friday 10 June 2011 9:30

I love it when they're short, sweet, and to the point. =]

temp4comment 0

Friday 10 June 2011 9:32

Maybe he didn't eat it, and maybe the stapler seemed like a good ***** at the time.

Keywords

Singing Roommate Music Miscellaneous Embarrassing TV shows Relatable Animals Dogs Sports Weird Cheating Love AITA Death Awkward Annoying Family Doctor Health Capitalism Work Money Drunk Concert Friends Coworkers Pranks Intimacy Sextoys

The Top

Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 687

You deserved it 4 308

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 302

You deserved it 15 398

The Top

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 928

You deserved it 59 171

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 908

You deserved it 2 992

Today, I saw some random iTunes charge on my bank account so I called who I thought was iTunes customer support to figure out the $5 charge, then got scammed into buying $1,400 worth of gift cards. The man on the phone was not with iTunes and took all my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 5 571

Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 856

You deserved it 5 847

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 743

You deserved it 5 153

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be wise to joke that we needed to postpone our reunion for another week. We haven't seen each other for almost 4 months, due to events out of our control. He thinks he's funny. He'll get punched when we do see each other again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 1 205

Same thing different taste

Self-own

Jeremy?

Autopilot

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