Health: Today, I shat out a staple. FML

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 609

You deserved it 17 971

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Same thing different taste

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 681

You deserved it 35 744

By 41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 743

You deserved it 3 621

By leprechaun23 - 23/04/2012 04:21 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 286

You deserved it 4 311

By Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 272

You deserved it 49 055

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 658

You deserved it 985

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 483

You deserved it 7 415

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 120

Jeremy?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 22:00

Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 258

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 548

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 488

You deserved it 12 936

rockerbaby3192 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:45

why did you eat one

BShady96 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:31

this fml was so short i had trouble opening it on my iphone -.-

Comments

bntilley 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:35

Lmfao!!!!

brooooks 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:57

that reminds me when I shat out hole puncher paper. good times.. :)

LifeIsCruelFML 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:42

ROFL

butterflyz1961 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 7:00

Did you eat it?

morgan70663 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 7:02

u dumbass its not shat

soulfulemo 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 7:42

yes it is..it's the past tense of shit. dumbass.

999pun999 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 4:45

a grammar natzi, but thats not bad enough hes uneduacated!

Kypopz 9

Sunday 12 June 2011 19:46

*Nazi.

captainTexas84 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 9:41

I got 8 staples in my shin today!! why the exclamation marks? that sucks you say? not the pain killers!! woo hoo

LifeIsCruelFML 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:40

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA EPIC LULZ WERE HAD. you win ahaha.

laurenlatham 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:30

I guess that's why it isn't a great idea to eat staples.:D

kl_beans 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 17:43

officially the WEIRDEST FML ever!

XPlasticSmilesX 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 21:54

that.....was just disturbing

sassypants93 17

Monday 13 June 2011 9:08

We are just such an awesomely sassy couple...

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The Top

Today, I was playing Wii Sports, trying to finally complete the "pick up spares" bowling game. My parents were behind me and said they would support me. After several failed attempts, I realized they had been on their phones the whole time, and were so engrossed that they didn't even look up when I spoke to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 629

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 106

The Top

Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 344

You deserved it 27 116

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 614

You deserved it 5 861

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 619

You deserved it 3 785

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 547

You deserved it 5 116

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out, with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming ,"Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 113

You deserved it 7 468

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 492

You deserved it 9 972

Same thing different taste

Self-own

Jeremy?

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