Health: Today, I shat out a staple. FML

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 609

You deserved it 17 971

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Same thing different taste

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 681

You deserved it 35 744

By 41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 743

You deserved it 3 621

By leprechaun23 - 23/04/2012 04:21 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 286

You deserved it 4 311

By Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 272

You deserved it 49 055

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 658

You deserved it 985

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 483

You deserved it 7 415

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 120

Jeremy?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 22:00

Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 258

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 548

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 488

You deserved it 12 936

rockerbaby3192 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:45

why did you eat one

BShady96 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:31

this fml was so short i had trouble opening it on my iphone -.-

Comments

sherryl_fml 0

Friday 10 June 2011 10:46

how did you consume it anyway????

emiliewhlrs402 0

Friday 10 June 2011 11:03

ouch?..

whiteham 0

Friday 10 June 2011 13:14

wow you should eat those

reddwarf_fml 0

Friday 10 June 2011 15:00

why did u eat a staple to start with?

Kal_tranz 0

Friday 10 June 2011 15:00

Better than a fish hook

SacredHollow 0

Friday 10 June 2011 15:01

I more worried about you checking your shit than you eating a staple O.o

LewisCollins 0

Friday 10 June 2011 15:27

why were you looking at what was in your crap may I ask?

roxyisahottie 3

Friday 10 June 2011 15:29

how did you know ?

30Trips 0

Friday 10 June 2011 16:17

lol

MrThew 0

Friday 10 June 2011 16:38

it's shit not shat. bad grammer and bad eating habbits...

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Roommate Music Singing Dogs Animals Relatable TV shows AITA Love Cheating Weird Sports Death Family Awkward Annoying Health Doctor Money Capitalism Work Drunk Friends Concert Coworkers Sextoys Intimacy Pranks

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Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 303

You deserved it 13 467

Today, it's officially been a year since my grandma passed away. I still have the occasional dream where I go to her house and she's right there, waiting for me, after which I wake up sobbing because it will never happen again. I don't wanna be an adult anymore. FML

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You deserved it 87

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I agree, your life sucks 16 665

You deserved it 2 725

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 749

You deserved it 4 156

Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 037

You deserved it 1 426

Today, my friend and I went to dinner. At the end, he told me that he’s had feelings for me for a while and wants to be more than friends. I don’t see him that way, so I tried to gently reject him and wanted us to stay friends. He stiffed me with the bill and said, “You can walk home then, buddy!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 185

Today, I discovered that my husband doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet. Too bad I got to found out after three years of marriage, and while his finger was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 193

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 603

You deserved it 3 761

Same thing different taste

Self-own

Jeremy?

Autopilot

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