Sounds like a great comedy act.

Here's your stage name: Jean Stapleton

Maybe you shouldn't be near a stapler for a while....

or mabye ever...

...How?

The first step is always admitting the problem. Good job, OP!

Ah yes, the stapler: workplace's natural enemy.

I literally did this last week as well

I feel your pain.
In school I managed to put the needle through my thump and sew myself to the fabric (and the sewing machine because the needle broke off).
When I was back at school a week later my teacher wanted to know how I was able to do this...so I showed him ...and yeah, my other thump got a piercing, too.
Good thing:
I wasn’t allowed to use the sewing machine anymore and could do wood work (as a girl I wasn’t allowed there before).

I have no idea why I wrote "thump" instead of thumb.
My English is pretty bad...but not THAT bad.
o.O

This really needs a YDI button

Maybe they thought you were just taking the extra mile on that joke?

That's some dedication to the joke.