Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect.... - FML

By Anonymous - 25/4/2015 07:30 - Canada - Delta

Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

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Fear factor

Caught red-handed

Does it taste good?

By - 18/1/2017 20:00

Today, I found out my friends replaced the water in my bottle with vodka when all my fish died. Any water I don't finish the night before, I pour into my tank the next morning. Thousands of dollars and years hard work, gone. FML

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By crazyattracts - 31/7/2016 05:53 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my new girlfriend canceled my badly needed haircut appointment. She feels that having my female hairstylist wash and cut my hair involves "too much touching" and "counts as cheating." FML

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By Anonymous - 6/2/2016 06:28 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, it's been five days since I started my new job in a new town, just signed a lease on my new apartment too. Now I find out the company's closing down, and since I'm still on probation, I'm told I'm not entitled to any kind of severance. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/5/2013 23:51 - United States - Quincy

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

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By Matt - 5/10/2011 10:49 - Australia

Today, I finished a website that I have been working on for ages for a friend. He tried to repay me by offering to teach me to play table tennis. FML

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By ... - 2/10/2012 20:55 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/1/2010 07:18 - United States

Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure if I am more impressed that I still somehow aimed the puke into the sink, or that swallowing afterwards hurt more than emptying my stomach via my nose. FML

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By facepalm - 27/2/2012 11:06 - United States

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

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By Donutsarelife - 19/11/2014 15:09 - United States

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

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By Taylor - 2/7/2019 20:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend, who loves board games, to give me advice on a board game I'm making. I ended up crying in the fetal position. FML

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By - 19/11/2019 14:00

He prefers the dog

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

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By Eheath12Jheath14 - 12/7/2018 01:30

Today, my boyfriend and I welcomed our first son into the world. After I gave birth, he said he was going home to make sure the house was ready for baby. A few hours later, he was tagged in a Facebook photo by a mutual friend at the local bar. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/8/2012 13:15 - United States

Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML

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By grandpa porn - 28/8/2017 01:30

Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML

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By fucked five ways to friday - 3/1/2013 23:36 - United States - Stayton

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/10/2018 03:00

Today, my girlfriend sent me a video of herself masturbating so I could watch it on my business trip. As I was watching it, I realised someone was filming her, because the camera was moving and definitely not on a tripod. I know I never recorded a video of her. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/10/2014 08:19 - Australia - Ashburton

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

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By waxinghorror - 11/7/2009 20:11 - United States

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

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By >_< - 30/8/2013 22:56 - United States - Richmond

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

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By bosssssssss765432 - 16/5/2009 15:20 - United States

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

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By "GumStickExtraGmail" - 14/9/2017 17:30 - United States - Arvada

Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML

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By need not know - 19/1/2020 05:00

Still married

Today, while fixing my dad's phone, I saw Tinder installed. He's still married to my mum. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 17:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I failed my driving test. I've been a legal driver in my home country for 8 years, but can't pass the test here. FML

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By "mysteryguy3039" - 7/8/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend gave me a two weeks' notice for our relationship. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/4/2015 16:45 - United States - Oakland

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

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By John - 10/7/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

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By mizzy - 19/11/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my four year old got mad that he couldn't find his favorite character on the Wii. So, he decided to smash the Wii remote into my $700 LCD TV, shattering the screen. That was the only TV in the house, and the $80 service plan I bought doesn't cover accidental damage. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/8/2012 05:51 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

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By Alexis - 16/1/2017 15:14

Today, I took a cab ride home from a bar. After a few minutes of horrible driving, I felt sick. The cab driver got so mad she locked me in the car and started driving me to the cops unless I payed her extra. Basically, I paid $120 for a five-minute cab ride. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/12/2011 16:30 - Sweden

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

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By vanessax - 11/4/2012 05:04 - United States - Crown Point

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

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By leah - 16/10/2019 22:00

Whooped

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

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By rapper in training - 11/2/2012 01:02 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

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By ouch - 27/1/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML

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By me_the_maniak - 12/1/2012 10:14 - India

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/4/2012 18:31 - United States - Rock Island

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

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By leah12 - 18/3/2009 21:47 - United States

Today, I received a letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Leah. I am Leah. She mixed up the letters to the wrong envelopes. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/12/2011 07:47

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

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By BornToBeABurden - 9/1/2014 16:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

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Top comments

By ComoEsJuan | 24

#6273277 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:29

Good coverup. Go to social media. They'll never suspect you of being a double agent.

By clevergirl98 | 20

#6273275 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:29

My name is simple but everywhere I go, if I'm placing an order, or at school my name is spelled incorrectly. Sorry OP hopefully they replace your license for free.

Comments

By rockey44 | 16

#6273265 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:26

first mum

By magicman13 | 9

#6273266 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:26

This is why the government sucks.

Reply

funsizedliz | 15

#6273280 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:30

There's many reasons why the Government sucks ?

Reply

theTravinator | 21

#6273448 - Sunday 26 April 2015 3:09

Yes- apparently one person screwing up a name is the reason the entire government sucks.

Reply

praesidiem | 16

#6273464 - Sunday 26 April 2015 3:35

Right?!?! Thanks Obama.

Reply

lenalee96 | 22

#6273568 - Sunday 26 April 2015 5:42

I really doubt the government itself is at fault here. blame the government worker.

Reply

DevilReaperTech | 7

#6273659 - Sunday 26 April 2015 6:52

the person is from Canada. Obama has no reign over there.

Reply

blueeyedfreak131 | 6

#6273684 - Sunday 26 April 2015 7:25

Harper. Not Obama.

Reply

Laylette | 21

#6273808 - Sunday 26 April 2015 10:28

Lies. Canada is perfect. It's what we Americans tell ourselves when we start to lose faith in humanity.

By skye147 | 20

#6273268 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:27

Close call.. at least you weren't mid-sneeze in the picture!!

Reply

Rainbow2Cloud | 12

#6273368 - Sunday 26 April 2015 0:41

Honestly I don't think OP cares about what their picture looks like. OP was worried about getting arrested for having a messed up name on their license.

Reply

Rainbow2Cloud | 12

#6273469 - Sunday 26 April 2015 3:41

Why the hell am I downvoted?

Reply

skye147 | 20

#6274300 - Sunday 26 April 2015 20:59

I am asking the same thing..

By leidymedinaf | 13

#6273270 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:27

Did you get arrested?

Reply

Markovski | 18

#6273274 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:28

"nearly arrested".............. ?????

Reply

DanCastellaneta | 17

#6273629 - Sunday 26 April 2015 6:24

Yeah, I guess "nearly arrested" isn't clear enough...

*sigh*

Reply

VeganVampyre | 26

#6273911 - Sunday 26 April 2015 14:01

Well, 'nearly' is obviously a very ambiguous word. I mean, who really knows what that means?

By qdawg06 | 23

#6273273 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:28

At least you didn't actually get arrested.

By clevergirl98 | 20

#6273275 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:29

My name is simple but everywhere I go, if I'm placing an order, or at school my name is spelled incorrectly. Sorry OP hopefully they replace your license for free.

Reply

blakeyboy22 | 12

#6273328 - Sunday 26 April 2015 0:05

Well... What is it?

Reply

Mauskau | 35

#6273337 - Sunday 26 April 2015 0:13

Cympal

By ComoEsJuan | 24

#6273277 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:29

Good coverup. Go to social media. They'll never suspect you of being a double agent.

Reply

dariboy | 12

#6273357 - Sunday 26 April 2015 0:33

Your secret has been compromised. The threat must be illuminated. Take out Juan!

Reply

dariboy | 12

#6273395 - Sunday 26 April 2015 1:32

*eliminated :(

Reply

praesidiem | 16

#6273466 - Sunday 26 April 2015 3:37

Can't tell if you meant illuminate'd, as in some obscure form of an "illuminate joke", or eliminated.

Reply

AlwaysWatching | 27

#6273473 - Sunday 26 April 2015 3:46

Illuminati*

Reply

VoldooPed | 20

#6273558 - Sunday 26 April 2015 5:34

I want to up vote this but it has 69 up votes so nah.

By edward80 | 18

#6273281 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:30

I agree, fake your life : )

By feven | 32

#6273285 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:31

If it makes you feel any better, it wasn't until this past year that I figured out the date of my actual birthday.

Reply

feven | 32

#6273293 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:33

Even the date on my FML profile is wrong by one day :o

Reply

44LynnLynn | 23

#6273315 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:52

How did that happen?

Reply

feven | 32

#6273350 - Sunday 26 April 2015 0:27

I was born in another country so the time difference wasn't accounted for when they documented my birth date. So I was technically born on New Years :)

Reply

False_Stupidity | 41

#6273379 - Sunday 26 April 2015 1:02

At least you can change it on your FML profile!

By Catdragon | 40

#6273288 - Saturday 25 April 2015 23:31

at least you got your license.