Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, while babysitting my nephew, I was looking through a bin of toys, and I saw a fake spider. I picked it up to do a prank with. It wasn't fake. FML
Today, I made my niece cry when I told her that snakes are just tails with faces. She won't stop. FML
Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Nah, you should have gone all Crocodile Hunter on it, and wrestled "the snake" outside. You would have been hailed as a hero.
Pleonasm 36
He's a slithery one, that one.
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Comments (36)
adkim78 17
Seems as if your bro's got it out for you. And your grandma. It must be a conspiracy.
Roskosity 22
Sucks to suck.
Roskosity 22
They are all out to get you!!
Pleonasm 36
He's a slithery one, that one.
lilhellian 27
He sounds like a candidate to be slytherin.
rg350dx 29
Your brother must be on FML and read all the stories about crazy grandparents. He was simply exacting revenge for the younger generation. Throw the "snake" on her and run away. No regrets. No forgiveness.
Welshite 40
Nah, you should have gone all Crocodile Hunter on it, and wrestled "the snake" outside. You would have been hailed as a hero.
Jharrist89 12
How dare you for almost giving her a heart attack! Jk op. Brush it off.
narkill 13
Whew. I thought this was going to be something to do with a condom and grandma just couldn't understand. Fyl man.
zevo1415 10
Should've said it was real and got her to pay you for removing it
Ambient25 25
There could have been worse things in that closet...
rg350dx 29
Like R. Kelly
Ambient25 25
"And so I pull out my gun! Tell me why Tom Cruise is stuck in the closet or I'm gonna shoot someone" hahaha
olpally 33
I honestly thought you were gonna say there was a ***** in there... Lol. God I need help.
laya_fml 26
I was waiting for you to say that it wasn't fake and attacked you.