By Username - 03/05/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 203
You deserved it 34 369

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Top comments

like the penguin. he too waddles

You could gain more weight, and just roll across the crosswalk.

Comments

I wanted to be first comment >:(

Then don't wait......

31 couldn't that of just been your own comment. Instead of replying to 1 and writing the same thing?

31 - she just told you.

or you could eat more and end up a hood ornament

The reason she replied to 1 is BECAUSE she wanted to post a continuation of the same thing.

34.. no.. lol I wrote the same thing on purpose...

37 looks like a fat Russell brand :D

Maybe start running accross the crosswalks instead of just lazily waddling accross them.

The Biggest Loser: Crosswalk Edition

34. she wanted to continue it so someone else could continue it, then some no life loser could come and combo break it.

so I'm only 118 pounds and I can only make it halfway before it starts flashing

OP is a fatty mcfat fat

83 yeah pretty much.. lol

I'm with ya 91! :D

kofinater 3

so the op is losing weight because the weight was interfering with mobility? pretty legit reason if you ask me.

OMG im sorry haha I'm a little slow sometimes.. it's been a long day :D

I don't make the crosswalk and I'm skinny

I wear diapers. ha!

hmm .. aaaallllrighty thenn

This is not Fbook you naive, gramatically incorrect prostetot!!!

wtf ... whos sexy ??

I'm not sure but I think everyone is referring to 1.. maybe?

ohhh i see i see lol ... i guess .. but they might be refferriinngg toooo me or you :D lmfao

265... hahaha probably more you than me lol ;)..

267 no wayyy why u say thattt ???!! lolol pssshh look at u n ur sexy shades !! ahahhhh ;D

268 ahaha no way man..

*sits back and waits for mods to not so politely remind everyone this isn't a dating website*

272.. woah.. we were just playing around..

272 yea we were just messin around relaxxx !! lolol

hey u don't need to convince me :) just the mods

there you go they were polite they just deleted the comments

278.. lol too late.. it's gone now haha :P

ahah okayyy okayy , lolol

it's either lose weight or death, lol

hahaha .... i like ur hair DOOD lolol :P

hey stacy. how goes it

I don't see how that is a bad reason to want to loose weight tbh.... btw op, gl on loosing that way so u can cross the streets like a pro!

then you are retarded

I have read it 50 times and I just don't get it, does he lose the weight while walking?

he or she is really fat, which results in walking reeeally slow. so slow that he can't get to the other side before the light turns red again

he or she is really fat, which results in walking reeeally slow. so slow that he can't get to the other side before the light turns red again

He is humiliated that he can't cross the crosswalk before the timer thing ends, which is his motivation for wanting to lose weight. Well, that's how I read it anyway.

holy shit. this is the stupidest fml ever.

dont worry 2 I didn't get it either

It is poorly worded, but I read it (eventually) as 25 did.

I didn't get it until I read 24's comment...but seriously this FML is poorly written...

I don't make it on time either and I'm average weight. those damn crosswalk lights change too fast >^

94 I'm a deadmau5 fan too :D

are u all serious? you didn't understand it. fuuu people are dumb

All 2 people??? yes..... All those 2 people don't understand.

naw you can't count that's so cute. double it honey bunch and go back to school. your fuckin stupid to.

#114 I have never been a grammar nazi but for being such a bitch and calling others stupid I believe you used the word "to" wrong. You used the word "to" which is a preposition instead of "too" which is used when naming more than one things that are similar. Your welcome.

119, see that banana in your picture? go choke on it :)

119 I'm on your side; but you forgot to correct the most infamous of mistakes here on fml... you're (not your) :D

Haha oh crap well that just proves I can't be a grammar nazi. But sorry #120 I already tried that and it didn't work. Any other suggestions?

you have made 28 comments and you think you know all the infamous mistakes. baby you have so much to learn. fuck off noob :)

Um excuse me I'm still waiting for my suggestions.

matt, shove it up your ass sideways. then get a gerbil to push it up for you. if that don't work then ask boners for help. he won't mind. besides I think he mentioned somewhere else about having gerbils on steroids.

106 seems angry...

129, when you are around for as long as me you will understand why I'm angry. there are so many people with the brain capacity of a toilet brush on this site it pisses you off. believe it or not I was once a nice person...

why be angry thought it's just fml.. cnt get mad over every idiot on here..

135, I'm assuming your new? I will go easy on you then, piss off. in the nicest sense possible :)

not new just dnt see what you can prove by ranting on the FML site but whatever floats your boat I guess.. enjoy

don't worry love I will. FYI you just contradicted yourself in that comment. have a think about it.

Lulz at all the people who had to read it more than once to comprehend it.

Ok seriously #140 what are you trying to prove? That you're smarter than everyone? That you own FML? That you can trash talk on the Internet?

125, I know of them because I have been on fml for quite a while now(easily over a year, maybe 2). I only made this account when I got my iPhone and decided I wanted to start commenting, instead of just reading them. Now I will feed you no more, troll.

what happened 132? your partially the definition of a bitch right now.

have you choked on that banana yet? obviously not you can still type.. darling the only people who own this website are the moderators. I'm sure it won't take you Long to meet them ;)

beef, this is what happens when you are surrounded by stupid people :(

I feel so threatened. :/

Leeshxx, you're acting like you have done nothing wrong here. There is more to life then thrusting down on a home-made dildo while venting your bottled up thoughts on FML. Stop being a bitch.

*hangs up a sign that says "please refrain from feeding the trolls."*

like the penguin. he too waddles

does your tattoos say "fuck bitches. Get money."?

I imagined OP rolling, not waddling.

They see OP rollin', they hatin'.

175 its from a rap song

disregard females aquire currency

I like how number 3 looks so intense and pumped with his tattooed biceps, but there is a walling hanging behind him that says relax.

hahaha 233 wins most creative if my opinion counts 4 anythin :P

242 thannks haha :)

You know you're just embarrassing yourself posing. 1) you don't have the body for it and 2) your form is terrible. That's one of the worst front double bis I've ever seen.

guys and their abs .. ahahh .. lolol xD

ur pic is ... wonderful ...

I wonder who will get caught with the same ab photo first?

hmmmm good questionnn .. lolol

ohhh !! i was reffering to 282 with a sarcastic remark :D lmfao

290... hahahahaha omfg !! :D

291 ROFLMFAO!!! >:] muahaha

297...ZOMGROFLLMFAOBBQ!! mwahahahaha :P

bahahhaha XD i lol'd at the BBQ part :D ROFL !!! never thought of that one!

lol haha LMFAO I just made it up!! lol :D

OMG thats awsomesaucetasticness !!!!! :D lolololll

haha that's soamazinglysupercalifradulisticfantasticlyfunny!! :))

hahahaha OHHH DAAMMNN heree we goo :P lololol !! thats hilarious xD i havnt heard that in forever

lol I'm just that awesome to remember it haha jk jk :P

bahaha !! pssh well u must be !! cuz i kno i qasnt lolol !! xD

haha no way.. your way awesomer!!! ahaha :D

hahaha !!pssshh noooo !! how can u say that when ur CLEARLY the awsomer one here xD

baha lol no way I think you need glasses so you can CLEARLY see that your the aweskmest one!!! :D

So basically I'm the creeping guy that refreshes to find out which one of you comes up with the most random make of words... I'm amused with the tie.

330... lol so.. we both win??

Ha, don't stop now. Especially since a random douche wants you to.

haha I'm not stopping .. just waiting for her to respond..lol!! :)

Ah, I mean... That does make sense; not stopping, just paused. Maybe you have her stumped, and she doesn't have any more randuhnomical words. In that case, you win?

woohoo.. I win.. mwahahaha ;)

anyways abs on profiles with no face..

339 - Yeah, and one even said he's 14 on his profile.

I think I lost brain cells reading all that. :/

Raaawflecopterchickensandwhich.

Omgzilovecookies!!

...and 242 has no arms (and apparently no face) and 247 is at least somewhat proportional but still too small (and also has no face). So many silly boys posing when they just don't quite have what it takes. Keep hitting the weights boys. One day you might be worthy.

Yeah it's funny how they show abs and no face... tools.

Stupid ugly tats...

even old people, walking with a stick can make it..

I've never really seen an old person crossing the street. In cartoons and stuff they make it seem like "Oh no! old lady needs help crossing the street! I'll help you lady! 'Thank you sinny'"

Oops I mean sonny. THE "I" AND "O" ARE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER I HATE THAT!

way to go over board. it's ok you corrected yourself. you're safe from grammar nazis

I don't see anyone making it... It's like fucking Frogger crossing those streets. You are bound to run into some asshole turning right on red blaring his horn at you.

108 nowadays old people would go "Ahhh thieves, murderers! Take out the dentures!"

189- That's when you flip them off and cross anyways. You have the right of way and if they hit you, courts award big money for that shit.

Sheeit; I'm the asshole blaring the horn, but I'm smart enough not to hit them, so they can't sue me.

hell! I wish some douche blew the horn and acted like a duck, while it was my turn to go. the light says it's my turn to go, so I'm gonna go! idgaf...road rage is nasty.

nice eyebrows, do you get those threaded or waxed?

I'm going to assume you mean me because I get that alot... I can proudly say I don't do shit to my eyebrows. They just don't do that fucked up, caveman unibrow bush thing. Now the rest of my face? I Proglide everyday.

LOL I never seen the flu games so small

what's that supposed to mean anyway?

an o followed by a _ followed by another o is code for "indeed you should lose weight because not being able to cross the street in time for a light is quite absurd, ydi."

its clearly the op rolling across the crosswalk.

I don't understand?

Of course you cannot, your love of Justin Beiber blinds your common sense.

OP was explaining the theory of relativity, that's why you didn't get it.

Honey... that's cuz you're blonde. :)

130 watch what you say.. a flying ninja kick to the head may be in order..

Since she was fat it took her a longer time to cross the road. The crosswalk timer would end before she made it to the other side. Therefore she decided to lose wait so she could get over there in time. You're welcome.

weight* smh. -__-

8 didn't understand because the FML was worded horribly when it was first published that it didn't make sense

Hmm flying ninja kick huh? I'll go get my camera!

I'll break your wrist while I kick the camera across the room

This is not an online dating site. :)

Yeah, cause putting on make-up for a profile picture and wearing all that jewelry is very ninja. Definately.

I don't put on makeup for profile pictures nor do my hair to that extent it was my cousins 21st. that necklace is actually very lethal. it's poison darts. and who the fuck said anything about flirting/ dating retard

cldean24 4

That is the first picture I have seen leesh noticeably wearing makeup and have jewelry on. I don't think it was an "omg FML profile picture!!!" moment. But even if it were, why the fuck would that matter?

its pretty much impossible to cross in time, the light changes so fast where I live....

Yes 9, me too. I literally have to sprint faster then full speed to make it across in time.

Why is everybody taking a picture of their ABS

Seriously, if I see another cheese dick meat head with his shirt off, I just might strangle the next one I see walking down the street

yeah I know, especially when they don't look impressive in the slightest.

Wow... Jealous much? Sheesh. Get over it.

You guys have some really fast lights I could crawl to the other side and still beat it.

They spend the first thirty seconds or so posing for traffic. By the time they realize they could cross the light is already yellow.

could you do an impression of Lindsay Lohan doing a backwards crab walk and still make it?

#217 nice 3 internetz for you and ten points to griffendor

9 don't deny it, u also need to lose weight :p

the lights over here change hella fast too! did they revise this FML? I swear I did not read it this way the first time...

155- was wondering the same thing

for real!! they're all so JACKED TO!! bet it was hard for those brah's to get their to tight Ed hardy shirt off to!

Who likes my abs?! I so sexy :)

Right 328.. just cause we take care of our bodies you talk shit? LoL! Love people who talk shit about stuff like that. Always made me literally lol..

171, I would seriously love to see you try.. You do realize these "meat heads" would basically crush your ass if you even attempted? Haha. Cracks me up!

because my abs are sexy. that other guys abs however, they are just mediocre so I cannot explain his reason.

oh, wow. that comment there was supposed to be somewhere else but this app lagged on me... anyways. yes, 227. if I lost some more weight then I could show chumps up with my 12 pack. I would also possibly be anorexic...

OOOOOOOOOKkkkkkkkkkkkk fatty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well ur a bitch!

coming from the one who looks like a whore

how does she look like a whore