By wiper - 04/05/2011 03:12

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 411
You deserved it 5 744

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Top comments

DontModMeDammit 10

use his pillow case...

I think the real FML is that OP can't afford 50 cents.


VinegarStrokes 0

as he should

I think the real FML is that OP can't afford 50 cents.

butt scratcher?! butt scratcher?!

haha! Oh Petaaaaaa (Cleveland voice)

just use some of his underwear to wipe. and use the ass part so it looks like he leaves skid marks on his underwear

Maybe you should stop going through so many rolls every day

Heather_x0x0 6

look on the bright side...its only 50cents...the price coulda been higher...

iv been told I'm full of shit but this is a little over the top.

a_cramer23 0

hahaha family guyyyy!!!

meh, I'd just use a leaf if I couldn't find 50 cents in my couch, car, or my bedroom floor.

Just take some of his shirts or socks and wipe your business with that lol.

#6 what if he hid 100 rolls? then it makes sense

74... I doubt he stockpiles it like that, and I'm sure he'd be buying 1 or 2 at a time... but that would make too much sense wouldn't it?

TroII 0

The great "TP" Stock Crash was hard on us all...

Or you could use your dad as toilet paper since he's such an asswipe

tjv3 10

go buy some. at least then you would be contributing instead of consuming

seximexi911 10

it costs money for those shit tickets dude

how many rolls do you need???

skidoo800HO 2

I think this is his way of saying you should shit less

sorry but i imagined that in lois' voice haha

use his clothes to wipe your ass and steal his underwear and charge him $5 for each one and charge rentals ;$

first... ha that blows mane

silentblack 0

u prolly use touch toilet paper

I was thinking of that too.

so there's a type of toilet paper that you don't have to touch?

57 - Wow I didn't notice that. Lol.

EverybodyHatesCh 0

what!!! untouchable toilet paper!!! awesome!! i need some of those!!

NastyNinja31 0

tp for my bunghole

Be a man. Use your hand.

mollieOdare 0

That's not very nice.

ImaWiseGuy 5

start using the hand towels to wipe, your t.p. will return to it's original price's soon 99.....

it's only 50cents. quit bitchin. 2 quarters, ever hear of work? welcome to the real world

grumpybarista 0

OP, quit wadding it up like my 8-yr old daughter when she zings it off the roll!

Let's be honest; go buy your own Charmin Ultra Aloe Vera toilet paper... Your dad is raping your ass with that price.

Haha, so true #5!

50 cent a roll is actually pretty damn cheap. the good stuff is about a dollar each.

DontModMeDammit 10

use his pillow case...

mayndaapathetic 4

haha . agreed !

hihi1212 1

you naty freak

hihi1212 1


demonkonga 5

Dam Stright

Stop eating too much and taking shit every 5 minutes.

Enlighten me on the context clues you used to come up with this...

You’re not a member of illuminati to be enlightened, because you buy your own Charmin Ultra Aloe Vera toilet paper.

Uh, yeah; yeah I do buy my own, and I eat so much food that I have to wipe my ass every five minutes.

Than you must have some serious hemorrhoid problems and you must see a doctor. Forget about enlightenment for now. I'll do that later

Yes! The cream is doing me no justice; can you imagine having to shit every five minutes? ... No, really. Can you seriously imagine that? Ha, that would suck.

I imagine you red faced and screaming out loud while taking shit and cursing out the cream that hasn’t read the constitution, therefore cannot fight the hemorrhoids that are planning terrorist attack on your asshole. Try the waterboarding next time, instead of the cream

OP's username, "wiper"

staceysgenesis16 0

shitting every 5 minutes ? really ? .. hmm ...

Stacey, I uhh... I don't really shit every five minutes, so you don't have to wonder about it. :P

Remind me what the Illuminati have to do with toilet paper again if you would be so kind...

Assumptions to the max ^^

MizzErikaHart 8

take a shower after you go to the bathroom. steal mcdonalds napkins...

Nuclear_Ninja 6


adam0x0 0

sounds like it could be a shitty situation...and before anyone says it yes it's old but I still find it funny everytime...