Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML
What a cozy moment
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML
Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML
Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML
Top comments
justsayfuck 5
You liar! You forced him :o
ibmike22 13
i wish i had a guinea pig:( oh well, the only friend i need is my fridge
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Comments (212)
alizax3 0
sry. get friends , Orr more pets.
sauce31 0
I submitted a much better fml. this is garbage.
hellokittywhore 0
you totally diserve it for owning a guinae pig.
MyNameIsTheBest 0
yea sorry man I can't hang out with you... I have to cut my... (hangs up phone)
justsayfuck 5
#28 So, if they were both huge or both tiny they wouldn't be good company? Dog racism these days..
sauce31 0
captain you better not be talking to me.
Freeze_fml 17
Seeing as how his comment was posted a reply to your comment, of course he wasn't.
sauce31 0
how do you know he was replying to my comment.
Freeze_fml 17
ಠ_ಠ
sauce31 0
do u want a cookie or something. do u think your cute trying to show off to all these hot girls on fml?
sauce31 0
oh cool. well it's a good thing that no one asked u then.
sauce31 0
I don't see any crying. but I moderated this one and said no because it's not funny. it's probably made up. all I said was mine is better. haha ur trying to show off for ignorance
ibmike22 13
there is some serious rage in this comment. use it to warm up my burrito mmm
sauce31 0
haha that's funny. comment moderated. cuz I'm a ******* douche.
gatts 3
woah no need to start swearing....haha im enjoying this.
sauce31 0
says the guy with two dogs as his picture... enough said
DocBastard 40
Sauce, just admit you got owned on this one and then move on. captain - 1. sauce, 0.
sauce31 0
how did I get owned though?
sauce31 0
I'm just not too sure how I got owned tho.
sauce31 0
still no one asked you 82, no one asked.
Freeze_fml 17
No one asked for you to whine about getting moderated, either. Boo hoo, I get moderated almost periodically.
sauce31 0
I didn't ask if you got moderated periodically
illmatic2 16
Do you have to ask in order them to say something?
sauce31 0
yes. and no one asked if I was relentless
sauce31 0
k
sauce31 0
why would you call yourself a ******* douche?
sauce31 0
do you know what ask is for?
DocBastard 40
Guess what, Sauce? You don't have to ask anyone anything to get their opinion, because you had the audacity to post something on a public forum. That gives the other 6 billion people in the world the right to say whatever the hell they want WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION. Can we just all agree that Sauce is a douchenozzle and move on?
SeanFredrick 3
******.
sauce31 0
ask
5t3ff1k4h 47
Haha. Cappytan, Love it.
kfrizzle2 4
Haha i love conversations like this. Especially when there are talking dogs. "But its a TALKING DOG!!!" (Up reference)
justsayfuck 5
Now THIS was a pretty awesome conversation :D
5t3ff1k4h 47
There were just so many people dogpiling (hahaha) me... you couldn't see me! :D I was there. Don't you worry.
5t3ff1k4h 47
She's in the kitchen.
pwaves13 0
yes quite hard
IpenguinFace 0
Well, if nobody else is willing to hang out with you...then what makes you think the guinea pig actually wants to? =O
NeonJester 0
Guinea pigs are awesome. :]
Crlnprz 11
dnt just leave him/her there
rommie_fml 0
two is better than one?