By fuckface? I wish - 30/11/2013 20:29 - Australia - Diamond Beach
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I agree that she shouldn't be bitching about a ring because it's the relationship that matters, but I do understand to a point. A girl wants a ring she can be proud of and show her friends and family, and also wants her guy to know her tastes well enough to pick something she likes.
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I don't get how having certain tastes makes someone materialistic. The girl was a bitch about it no doubt, but there can be a slight disappointment if it doesn't live up to the fantasy. I do feel that maybe he should know her taste, but she should have handled it better for sure.
If you're referencing #62 then hell yes it's a red flag. A woman wants a ring she can present? Who the fuck is she. If #62 wants a ring that's to her exact likes, tastes, and maybe even price figure then she needs to find the money to buy it herself. I swear most men I know, including myself, would bust our balls to find a ring of choice for the woman we love with the money we can. Some may even take out loans just to appease. But to put a threshold in terms of "presentation" value.... WTF
^ was meant to #80. And #83, presentation of monetary value might make you smile, a very fake smile, as you show it off. But just know most men put their hearts in to what they can afford when it's for someone else. In this case, if the chick put a monetary threshold to what she values, then fuck her. And if you think the same, then F you too. The fantasy is not one sided. All men dream of doing the best for their girl. To be sidelined by her selfishness is fucked up, and should always result in a boot out the door.
personally, I believe if the guy goes out of his way to WANT to make that huge step and takes the time to PICK OUT a ring, I'd be grateful and love the ring, because it was something HE chose. and even if I didn't like it, I'd still be happy and love him, rather than blasting him on facebook and being cruel about it.
I don't even understand why she went to bitch about it on facebook. I mean, she accepted it, so it means he is her future husband, even if he gave her a plastic ring or put a shoe lace on her finger, she is supposed to support her other half no matter what, and not make him look like a fool before his future in laws and friends. She doesn't seem very bright, i think she didn't realise what she signed for. Don't worry OP not all women are materialistic bitches.
@83 what the fuck in the FML makes you think he chose a ring of a style she didn't like, everything pointed to the fact they she wanted several thousand more to be spent on it, he might have gotten it in the exact style she likes but obviously didn't have the budget for a more expensive ring, he should have immediately retrieved his ring and told her it was over
I would personally act like I had gotten another ring just to get that one back. Once I had said ring in hand, I'd tell her to find a ring she loves, because it's the only love you'll find with your attitude. Walk away. *dramatic music plays in background, prideful tear rolls down cheek*
My ex got me the most godawful ugly ring imaginable. It was everything I had ever mentioned hating when it came to jewelry. But it's the THOUGHT that counts, so I kept my damn mouth shut about it and kissed the hell out of that man because it was HIM I intended to marry, not the ring. There is no justifiable excuse for OP's fiance's reaction. For those wondering - my ex and I ended our relationship amicably. We're now just best friends. There just wasn't anything *there* anymore.
#62 I agree with you actually. OP it sucks your fiancé is being a weenie and acting childish. But I kinda can see with where she's coming from (not to be confused with agreeing with how she reacted) my roommate's now fiancé proposed and got her a ring, and as flattered as she was, and said yes, she confided in me that she didn't get how after being together for 3 years he never picked up that she NEVER wears silver. Ever. Her engagement ring is the only silver jewelry she has. I mean come on, I get not being able to afford a 5 karat ring but it's hard to wear a piece of jewelry that you hate,Everyday for the rest of your life. OP you can always talk to her about it and see if she wants to return it and pick one out with her. It's not uncommon for couples to pick a engagement rings out together.
I didn't mean to come off as agreeing with the fiance or any of her actions. What she did was wrong. All I am saying is, even when we know it will never be real, the fantasy is still there. I love my engagement AND wedding ring for what it stands for. But that is not to say that a *tiny* piece of me doesn't get jealous when I see a damned beautiful ring. I am nowhere near materialistic. Hell, I would walk hell and earth for my husband if I heard him even slightly hint at the idea. That being said, had he gotten me yellow gold instead of white I would make sure he knew my stance and we would work it out together. That is what relationships are about. Something tells me there was a miscommunication on her jewelry taste. Still not taking her side here.
I feel like all the people who down voted 83 and 62 must be guys. But some guys are cheap and will buy a cheap ring that's probably just silver with a cubic zirconia stone. If I don't get the ring I like we're not getting married. Sorry for having standards. Not.
@#139 He never "picked up" on it? I take it this means your friend never actually SAID that she doesn't like silver. How would the fiancé know? I've seen women with mixed jewelry, so it's not like it's some unheard of atrocity. "How didn't he know?" Maybe she should have said something. I only wear silver-colored jewelry, and I have started many times to those who know me that I f#@$ing love silver. Is it really that hard to just say it?
#151 that's not standards. That's just being a selfish bitch. You want a specific ring? Then fucking buy it yourself. No guy wants a girl who only goes for what looks presentable. And since you seem to know rings yourself, at least the rock, and what exactly you don't want it as, then go fuck yourself. I hope no guy ever makes the mistake of marrying you, because while the average child costs a household $400K through 18 years, I have a feeling you'll be 4 times that, because you've obviously been raised wrong.
I don't understand why some girls expect a super expensive ring. It shouldn't be the price of it, but the value. I'm not going to say no to a guy just because he can't afford that expensive of a ring. And I wouldn't even care if it was sterling silver and cubic zirconia. If that's all he can afford on a ring then who cares. I wouldn't tell him to wait until he can buy a better one. Who the hell does that? Some of these women are just selfish bitches. -_-
All the poor ladies getting thumbed down to oblivion for no reason. For most it's not about the expense of the ring but rather the style. This is why me and my bf picked out rings, had he gotten me anything gold or too expensive I would've hated it because for the rest of my life I'd have clashing jewellery. All of you pretending aesthetics don't matter one bit, and I'm sure they don't for some, but when you'll wearing the same ring for your entire life? Then yeah, it should be to your tastes and you should be okay with looking at it for the rest of your life.
#164, I hate to break it to you but if you have to have a girl specifically tell you she doesn't like gold when not one single piece of her jewelry is silver, then you might have a bit ladies issues in the future. Girls aren't like guys and are not straight forward all the time. Like some of the other comments have said it's not the PRICE that matters it's the STYLE. Big difference, and hopefully before popping the question you've had that conversation. Most if not every girl I'm friends with has a jewelry preference. I mean your engagement ring and wedding ring are the most important pieces of jewelry you'll own, is it so bad to want something pretty? Again pretty does not = expensive. Some girls like big and bling, some like a simple band, some like square rocks, some don't even like diamonds. Again these are some things you should know or learn before you propose. A lot of it is being observant, and picking a ring that represents her. My other friend engagement ring is a hollowed out nickel and she loves it! It's really not the price. With all that being said, I still don't think OP's fiancé going to Facebook was a very mature way to handle it.
I thought i would add something on and say I feel like you should know if you would get a fancy ring or not. If someone is proposing to you, you should pretty much know their financial situation or at least have an understanding of it. If the guy you are dating can't afford a fancy vacation to a five star hotel then you shouldn't expect a fancy ring. If an expensive ring is going to make or break the relationship then you should have probably left the relationship a long time ago. Rings should not matter, it's the thought, but don't expect an expensive ring from someone who cannot afford it. It is just not fair to the guy who really loves you. Maybe that's a repeat of everything else but I really feel like these girls don't realize how much their guy can spend on one ring.
I'm sorry reading these comments and reading this fml I can't stop shaking my head. It doesn't matter what the rings look like. What matter is why the ring was given to you. Honestly my fiancé knows I dislike yellow gold I only where white, but my engagement ring is yellow gold. When I saw it I wasn't disappointed I was so happy to him down on one knee and asking me if I would be his forever. I learned to love the ring especially after I found out it was his grandmothers. Wear it proud it may not be your taste but it's what your better half picked out. After all I hope you think he has good taste since he picked you above everyone else! Sorry for my rambling I'll shut up now.
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We have talked about marriage but as of right now we don't have the money. I have showed him styles I like (mostly because he hinted at buying huge gaudy rings and I'm not into that) but I know we don't have a ton of money and it won't be huge but I know I will just be happy to be getting married to the man I love. Presenting the ring is important to women but you should be proud no matter what because someone loved you enough to present you with a ring and commit to you for the rest of your life. The women on this thread are making us out to be horrible creatures!
151 you took that way too far... I would never say no to someone for getting something I don't like! That is entitled bitch in its truest art form. Its comments like that, that are getting the rest of us ladies thumbed down. All we are trying to say is that although we would never be as big a bitch as you seem to be, we do have preferences. That is not to say that we will love the ring any less just because it doesn't meet our preferences, just that we would be somewhat disappointed.
Grump buy ring for Mrs Grump. Grump kill mammoth. Mrs Grump no like ring because Grump no communicate with Mrs Grump about what Mrs Grump likes. Grump sad now. If you're buying a present for someone and you expect them to wear it every day, then you should make sure that they like it. It's a common courtesy and it's so easy to have that conversation. To those of you saying she should have told him her preferences, it is possible she didn't know he was going to propose. He should have been the one to start that conversation seeing as how he was in the loop. Her reaction was messed up, yes, but it's actually not wrong to want to have an engagement ring that you like. The mistake is in his not knowing how to buy jewellery that his girlfriend likes and not picking it out together.
Truthfully; I'm very selfish, I hate that I am but it's me to he core; none the less, besides the fact of my selfish tendencies, I wouldn't mind getting a cardboard ring from my lovers. It doesn't even have to be a ring, it could be a tattoo, a necklace, a piercing, a nicknack of some kind, it could even be nothing; I care for the hard work of the person. Putting up with me is enough to make me happy. Is that weird? I think it is, but hey, it's character and less costly.
People, are you really like that? I'm a girl and it doesn't matter what the hell it looks like to me, its the thought that counts. If he/she has the balls to ask, RESPECT THAT. I speak my mind, I'm straight forward, but I don't have the balls to propose. Think about it!
151 Are you looking for money in a relationship? If you loved someone to the bottom of your heart and they gave you a "okay" ring, are you saying that you'd leave them, there and then. That's idiotic of you. (Hey, I down voted those ones too and I'm as female as they come.)
People like 151 make me so happy I have the parents I have. I know the exact family she was put in because I was surrounded by them in private school: materialistic families who only care about being the biggest hotshot in the room because of how much they spend. I can never lie that yes I was born into a rich family and I was surrounded by other kids from rich families, but my parents always taught me to be conservative, and flashiness isn't worth it, and they're absolutely right With that being said, I would never think of dating a girl who only cares about things she can show off to her things, especially a stupid ring. Appreciate what is given to you, because you're fortunate to even have it in the first place. People like that piss me off, and is pretty much the reason why I've been single my whole life, just surrounded by too many materialistic girls.
Yea she didn't even deserve that for those rude comments she made, maybe you should reconsider your choice, in other words if she's right for you, then again maybe there's more to her then we know she might be a sweetheart.....hopefully you so e how work it out and everything goes well for the both of you
i told my boyfriend if he spends a shit ton of money on a ring for me, i'll strangle him. not literally, but i don't want him dropping a ton of money on a ring. put it into the honeymoon! go to a pawn shop or something. find something simple and elegant for half the price it would be in a zales or kay store. shit's ridiculous. wanting a ring you're proud to show off is fine. it's when you EXPECT them to pay out the ass for it or else you'll bitch is when it becomes a materialistic problem.
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I say YDI. If she wants a better ring then buy it for her. It is your job as a man to provide her with everything she wants and needs. If you spend your last dollar to give her what she wants, it's your job to do that.
she also could have just told you yes, and then latter said that the ring wasnt her taste and she would love to go with you to exchange it for something more her. That would have been the tactful thing to do. But OP if you guys are young, she just might not be old enough to understand what to do in these situations. If however you guys are older, 27 & up, dump the shallow bitch, you will never make her happy (thats on her not on you)
@5- totally agree with you. My husband and I were YOUNG and in love, and got married right out of high school. We didnt have a lot of money, so our rings were nothing extravagant. Just plain bands actually. On our 5 year anniversary my husband surprised me with the ring he had always wanted to get me but couldn't afford at the time. I now wear it proudly WITH my original ring. The rings don't matter, his love behind them means everything. That's the way it should be when you love someone. If OPs fiancé truly cared as much as he'd hoped, she wouldn't have talked down about him on FB. At BEST she is tactless and maybe even classless. Let's keep it classy ladies!
So either you made a really bad choice, or she's just a bitch about it. She should have been happy about it though
Your girlfriend sounds very ungrateful. She should be happy you asked her to spend her life with you. Not putting a value on the ring compared to the possible happy future. I say you can do better and to rethink this choice.