By DontGetSlapped - 18/02/2013 00:24 - United States - Conway

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 514
You deserved it 2 523

Same thing different taste

Top comments

We see where her loyalties lie, with the hot pockets. Now we know for sure bitches ain't nothin but hoes and tricks.


Are you insinuating that speeding tickets are more important than hot pockets? Ridiculous

11- no, he isn't, he appears to be using something, called a sense of humour.

To 1:... until the mom does get cancer. It'll hit her like a rock to a head that she should never use cancer (that she doesn't have!) as an excuse.

420Zombie 17

it's OK 11, I picked up that sarcasm and laughed

We see where her loyalties lie, with the hot pockets. Now we know for sure bitches ain't nothin but hoes and tricks.

It's " bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks". You can curse here, they don't mind.

Technically bitches are female dogs. So it's technically not cursing.

#2 I'm wondering if you're trying to pretend the girl in the picture is you. It's Nina Dobrev.

crazytwinsmom 25

We must really like those hot pockets!

I can understand if the hot pocket was Ham and cheese

TheRandomIndian 17

I like the ones with like four different cheeses in them better than ham and cheese

I love the ones that don't give me diarrhea, yet to be discovered....

TheRandomIndian 17

My favorites are the mozzarella and meatball ones. One time I ate them for almost every meal for a weak because there was a vending machine in my barracks and I didn't feel like going to the galley. It didn't come out well in the end, of you know what I mean.

we don't have those in the Netherlands. :(

oh you don't know what you're missing. *wishes I could dhl you some*

twaumat 28

why would having cancer get you out of a ticket? but fyl

It may not be a solid excuse to evade the law, but she was probably trying to pull the sympathy card, it's a pretty low move.

Possibly a case of: "" A real dick move however it manifested itself..

hawright 13

My tried and true method is asking about becoming a state trooper because, because "I've always wanted to be one." It's worked a perfect 7 for 7. I have to resort to extreme measures because I don't have lovely lady bumps.

My aunt got out of one when she actually did have cancer! "I don't care, I have cancer... I'll be gone before I have to pay it"

Coyotay_Yelnats 4

Gotta do watcha gotta do, speeding tix ain't the bizz

I think everybody knows that arguing with parents never works under any circumstances. Parents can sometimes be the most unreasonable people, just ignore her shit and know that you're being the better person.

Your mother does in fact make an extremely valid argument. You don't just go around eating the last hot pocket without first having a discussion with everyone. C'mon OP.

TheRandomIndian 17

If its about the last hot pocket, it'll be an argument, not a discussion.

You don't discuss who gets the last hot pocket, you eat it in secret and then pretend it wasn't you.

Is there a hot pocket shortage or something?

TheRandomIndian 17

No and there is no shortage of any sarcasm either.

facepalmtoomuch 8

You deserve it, the poor woman has cancer.

How does OP deserves it? Also, if you've read the FML properly, you will have noticed the word 'faked' before the words 'having cancer'

I assume its an attempt at humor, too. I know as a fact it wasn't funny, either.

witchdoctor1 9

I can't help but notice your pic goes hand in hand with your comment. I give you props whether you're serious or not.

thetguy 4

Hey think of it this way! At least she was trying to spare you from the explosive ***** you get afterwards..

TheRandomIndian 17

Am I the only one who can eat hot pockets without my anus blowing up afterwards?