Are you insinuating that speeding tickets are more important than hot pockets? Ridiculous

11- no, he isn't, he appears to be using something, called a sense of humour.

To 1:... until the mom does get cancer. It'll hit her like a rock to a head that she should never use cancer (that she doesn't have!) as an excuse.

it's OK 11, I picked up that sarcasm and laughed

It's " bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks". You can curse here, they don't mind.

Well she already said bitches so......

Technically bitches are female dogs. So it's technically not cursing.

#2 I'm wondering if you're trying to pretend the girl in the picture is you. It's Nina Dobrev.

Maybe she is Nina Dobrev.

VP Diaries!

*she

I almost thought you were royalty!

I like the ones with like four different cheeses in them better than ham and cheese

I love the ones that don't give me diarrhea, yet to be discovered....

Keep trying 20, don't give up

My favorites are the mozzarella and meatball ones. One time I ate them for almost every meal for a weak because there was a vending machine in my barracks and I didn't feel like going to the galley. It didn't come out well in the end, of you know what I mean.

we don't have those in the Netherlands. :(

oh you don't know what you're missing. *wishes I could dhl you some*

It may not be a solid excuse to evade the law, but she was probably trying to pull the sympathy card, it's a pretty low move.

Possibly a case of: "must..get..to....h-hospital...emergency....ch-ch-chemo-therapy" A real dick move however it manifested itself..

My tried and true method is asking about becoming a state trooper because, because "I've always wanted to be one." It's worked a perfect 7 for 7. I have to resort to extreme measures because I don't have lovely lady bumps.

My aunt got out of one when she actually did have cancer! "I don't care, I have cancer... I'll be gone before I have to pay it"

Really? Who talks like this?

Gangsters.

White boys on the Internet.

If its about the last hot pocket, it'll be an argument, not a discussion.

You don't discuss who gets the last hot pocket, you eat it in secret and then pretend it wasn't you.

Is there a hot pocket shortage or something?

No and there is no shortage of any sarcasm either.

How does OP deserves it? Also, if you've read the FML properly, you will have noticed the word 'faked' before the words 'having cancer'

I'm assuming sarcasm folks

I assume its an attempt at humor, too. I know as a fact it wasn't funny, either.

I can't help but notice your pic goes hand in hand with your comment. I give you props whether you're serious or not.

Am I the only one who can eat hot pockets without my anus blowing up afterwards?