Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
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Top comments
BRLHP 24
Sounds like he really likes ya.
jojo66567 5
sounds like a real nutcracker
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Comments (184)
txguitarslinger 7
"Oh no, I'm dating a girl with a father that wants me to treat her right" What a whiney bitch you are. I really hope she complains about you, and that he puts his foot up your ass. YDI.
Ibeatmyself 3
I've been in that's situation he's all bark and no bite her dad will never do anything but show his teeth
xRezSynn 15
Simple! Don't give your girlfriend a reason to complain about you.
katt_is_here 24
Troll dad is awesome.
CountryBum 6
It's just a scare tactic. He just wants to show you that he only wants the best for his daughter. If you can handle this, then maybe you have the balls to stick around and treat her right.
ulissey_fml 22
What an -hey, Squeeze it- man.
KiddNYC1O 22
Prove him wrong or lose manhood.
RaindrewxRomance 7
That'll be me when my daughter starts dating
adam_night 9
It's a sign of affection
stallingsjason 6
Better than having a gun put to your head the first time you meet her dad, or having a knife put to your throat twice after that. FYI we are married now and he says I am the best son-in-law ever