Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
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Top comments
BRLHP 24
Sounds like he really likes ya.
jojo66567 5
sounds like a real nutcracker
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Comments (184)
BFons 19
Hahahahaha
theboy13 13
Same thing I've done to my sisters bf's...
BellaBelle_fml 23
You are a good brother then. My own brother was the same way. He usually let me fight my own battles, because I may be a natural blonde, but I'm a spitfire redhead in my heart. But if ever I needed my big brother to stand up for me when I couldn't do it all by myself, he was always right there in front of me and making sure that whatever guy was giving me problems knew that he will, and is more than capable, will inflict pain and that his behavior would not be tolerated. Props to brothers, older and younger alike, who protect their sisters :)
lainzilla 14
FYL if you're an asshole, otherwise I don't see the problem.
Quasar55_fml 18
Being threatened by a guy you don't even know when you meet him for the first time, that's a problem
NickKuiper 8
This man shall be my role model if I am blessed with a daughter of my own in years to come.
Sputnikspak 13
That sounds scary as hell. Hopefully, he's just being the typical intimidating Dad. My brother can dislocate your fingers with a handshake, so maybe you got off easy. :P
kikimonole 13
Sounds like a pretty amazing dad. :3 So... Um... Yeah. >> Don't hurt his daughter.
shadow7x 10
next time wear a cup
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
This reminds me of a song by Maroon 5...
Geary519 20
better treat her like a queen
Alycat6363 15
Sounds like something my dad would do.