Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BRLHP 24
Sounds like he really likes ya.
jojo66567 5
sounds like a real nutcracker
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (184)
spliit_fml 8
Just don't hurt his daughter and everything will be alright.
ethereana 2
well now there's a. reason not to fool around
CookieLovesBoo 16
My dad talks about doing that to my boyfriend , which I've been dating for a year and a month now ,* he talks too much crap* he won't do it haha
sesor 7
Classic! Quality LOLS!
mandyk5918 12
That's so sweet
kwyk 23
Point out he shouldn't do that if he wants grandkids. That usually works a treat.
Satoaoi 13
gotta give him props for being a protective dad
babyblueyes 27
Run dude run
m3lyc 18
That's assault here in the UK, where OP is. I'd have threatened him with a night in the cells.
jjmiller1001 17
D.A.D.D. dads against daughters dating