Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely... - FML

By acab93 - 10/02/2011 22:37 - United States

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 161

You deserved it 64 616

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Same thing different taste

By Dammit - 07/07/2012 04:45 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 541

You deserved it 5 867

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 19:41 - United States

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 259

You deserved it 4 358

By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 946

You deserved it 11 230

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 345

You deserved it 34 735

Ham-fisted attempt

By HamHanded - 10/03/2017 09:17

Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 650

You deserved it 710

By whymommywhy - 21/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 282

You deserved it 26 946

Soon.

By erinbarto - 17/10/2019 20:00

Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 131

By Username - 16/04/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 152

You deserved it 84 611

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 168

By katrina2d - 27/01/2015 05:43 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 205

You deserved it 29 646

Next

Top comments

Doortje 29

Friday 11 February 2011 1:09

So you thought a ham was an animal? What did you think it looked like? What sound did you think it made?

ScaryyMary 14

Friday 11 February 2011 1:18

Actually, ham is a fruit. Haven't you ever driven past a ham farm and seen the inbred Republicans plucking the ripe, juicy, pink hams from the tallest trees? I can take you to one, it's such an inspiring sight. Afterward, we can go snipe hunting, I know a GREAT spot.

Comments

sl1ck8427 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:22

you are retarded

Foltzie 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:24

Dude I came out of the womb knowing what ham was........

ashtonTS 0

Friday 11 February 2011 7:34

Why? Cause your mom's ****** looked like a lacerated one?

ashtonTS 0

Friday 11 February 2011 7:35

Why? Cause your mom's ****** looked like a lacerated ham hock?

cowgod123 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 18:05

hahahahahahah

splarf1991 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:28

are you blond? cause damn...

vettle 6

Friday 11 February 2011 6:29

I'm speechless

seximexi911 10

Friday 11 February 2011 6:32

haha it's ok, I'm sure all of us have our dee dee dee moments

bfunee 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:33

your a dult

fearnoevil175 3

Friday 11 February 2011 6:36

hope you aren't jewish

LADYGAGAGOOGA 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:41

he won a car. the secret word was hamster

srharrison09 0

Friday 11 February 2011 7:02

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! good one!

princessjasmine2_fml 0

Friday 11 February 2011 7:09

Just wait until Texas starts to edit our public school's history books.

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Management Work Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Education Parents Public freakouts Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 450

You deserved it 6 068

Today, my 15 year-old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 944

You deserved it 14 033

The Top

Today, it's been a week and a half since our hot water stopped working. Our landlord said he'll get on to it "in 3 days", after having said this already a few days before. I have to wash myself with a bucket and boiled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 061

You deserved it 168

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 471

You deserved it 3 432

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her Snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face, then tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 880

You deserved it 7 675

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 115

You deserved it 4 598

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 817

You deserved it 4 922

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 486

You deserved it 6 108