Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
Ham-fisted attempt
Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML
Soon.
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
Leftovers
Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Top comments
Doortje 30
So you thought a ham was an animal? What did you think it looked like? What sound did you think it made?
ScaryyMary 14
Actually, ham is a fruit. Haven't you ever driven past a ham farm and seen the inbred Republicans plucking the ripe, juicy, pink hams from the tallest trees? I can take you to one, it's such an inspiring sight. Afterward, we can go snipe hunting, I know a GREAT spot.
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Comments (265)
savannamariee 0
complete dumbass.
Snickahs 0
In Soviet Russia...
hisnumber1grl 0
mmmmmmmmmm.... bacon!
StrangerrDangerr 4
how the **** does this even happen...?
Lawlipop 3
Don't feel too bad. I had to explain to my uncle that a lamb is a baby sheep, not some separate species of pygmy sheep. And he was almost 40 at the time.
monnanon 14
lol my mum in law thought beef was a cut of meat and went on and on about the lamb beef in her kebab. she didnt believe me when i told her though. she said beef was a cut of meat and the meat from a cow. smh
sweetkraut 2
Well, let's just hope you weren't trying to keep kosher for the last 18 years...
lacyjaneful 4
I thought someone was playing a trick on me and wrote this.... I'm 18 and only found out it came from pigs two months ago, not from cows.
snuff13 0
you're eighteen and blond
DVecc 0
your also from Texas...
Skywalka911 0
Did your vowels die or something? Please just go to the funeral instead of trying to talk without them.