By Dammit - 07/07/2012 04:45 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks 70 532
You deserved it 5 861

Same thing different taste

Top comments

TheFamilyElf 17

I just... I'm so sorry. What tragedy! What misfortune! You poor, poor thing.

Thats all that it said on the suicide note, and nobody blamed him.


TheFamilyElf 17

I just... I'm so sorry. What tragedy! What misfortune! You poor, poor thing.

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soccergurrll 8

I don't think life gets much worse...... Chocolate I could deal with but BACON? Hell no. I'm sorry FYL OP. I'll cry for you |':

dsbs 9

OP, as a vegetarian Jew, you get no sympathy from me!

Dr0reos 8

At this point your only two options are turkey bacon*shudders in disgust* or suicide

asianswag 6

You could be the next Bad Luck Brian

I feel for you bro. That breaks my heart.

379_fml 11

158 your pic and username are so very mean to this guy now. But so very funny too

tjv3 10

Wow that really sucks bacon

I don't get people's love for bacon, it's gross; and no I'm not any form of -tarian, I love meat.

TheCaterpiller 6

252 - I think you need to see a doctor

I can't even have bacon(I never could, except for once where I had to stop once I knew what it was I was having) and I'm more upset for you than myself. :( Here, it's okay. *hugs*

ryguy83 2

Let us all take a moment of silence

bosquez559 15
bosquez559 15

To that vegetarian Jew, you are just gay

I don't think that it's possible to be allergic to bacon

xSunnyOlivia 17

338- he could be allergic to pork, which bacon comes from, obviously.

Poor child, if anyone is ever mean enough to try and give you bacon I volunteer as tribute to get rid of it!

*play scene from star wars episode 3 (Darth Vader) " nnnnoooooooooo9oooooooo"

I never realised there was a silent "9" in the word "no". I just learned something!

Either I accidentally pressed 9 or everyone you entire life has lied to you and there really is a silent 9 in noooo. But I guess we'll never find out :(

FMLshark 12

Then my teacher lied to me when she told me "nooo" has a silent 8.

MrBrightside21 20

I got "nooooooooo9ooo" right in my spelling bee, thanks guys and girls! But they stumped me with the word "friends." :(

Im I the only one that thinks this is fake? I mean how can you just find out youre alergic to bacon?...if it was his first time eating it he must be really young xD I dont know im just bored

I only liked number 3's comment because there was a nine xD

And by pure coincidence, the number you used is a phonetic match for the German 'no'...Conspiracy?

I bet your soul hearts when you come across an epic meal time video. You poor human being, FYL :(

how can be allergic to bacon!!!! :O omg, so does that mean you can't eat delicious baby back ribs too!!!!

JKr3slEMO 5

I'm hungry..gotta go get me some bacon;P

Bt I guess your mom won't be bacon' you the good stuff for breakfast anymore.

That's not really bacon though...your loophole failed

I'm assuming being allergic to bacon is more of an allergy to pork products, ham included.

melikeyturtles 3

Turkey bacon sucks. You cant make a bird taste like a pig.

aleeshttylXD 9

if OP can't eat bacon, then she can't eat any pork product..

Turkey Bacon isn't that bad... but that's coming from someone who hates most meats so... nyeh

TraceCase_ 19

Could be because it's processed and loaded with sodium nitrites/nitrates, which would make even turkey bacon out of the question. That stuff triggers migraines in some people.

15 - have you tried Canadian bacon? American bacon is all fat no flavor. I've had both and prefer to have Canadian every single time.

TheVelocirabbit 10

And that's why I love American Bacon. Mmm... Bacon.

xCrazyMexican 4

152- WTF? Your Stan Smith you can't dis America you dick.

simplylost643 0

#181- Exactly what I was thinking. Stansmith, get your shit together!

Thursday737 7

Maybe it's the way thy smoke and cure the bacon...but He probably is just allergic to pork...!

Canadian bacon is just ham so that's not a good loophole. Turkey bacon maybe??

241- No shit he wrote he was allergic to bacon, but in all fairness Canadian bacon is not bacon it is a lie... just like the cake...

What are you smoking, man? I'm Canadian and I prefer *real* bacon over Canadian "bacon".

You know what's funny? I'm canadian and have never had " canadian" bacon. I hadn't even heard of the stuff until about age 8.

heroqucas 25

Nitrates give me terrible migraines, so I know the pain

Stiggy626 25

probably still allergic since they're both pork...

Thats all that it said on the suicide note, and nobody blamed him.

perdix 29

I was going to say don't called the Suicide Hotline with this one because they'd tell you to go ahead and do it, but you captured the same idea.

MrBrightside21 20

The only person that can save him now is Jim Gaffigan.

Things I'd write a suicide note for if I couldn't have it: Bacon Chocolate Boobies Cartoons Animals MLP: FIM Tacos Music and...... ****.

kelsey_M_Jones 5

Well, 134, don't you just have a fantastic life! Hahaha

dixiefoxx 22

I feel so bad for you, what a terrible twist of fate! Bacon is the best food in the world!

I know, what monster would press YDI? Nobody deserves THAT!

OP should just end it all by overdosing on bacon. At least it would be a good final few hours

HonestTruth 5

I have never had bacon!:)

KM96 24

Is that a good thing or bad thing? :/

The_F3rris 11

People disagree with your choice to not eat bacon.... You need to become one of us! Oooooooone oooooof uuuuuuuuuussssssssssssss!

JustDerpin 11

how is that a good thing? honey, pleade, try some. you wont regret it.

I don't eat bacon cause my religion is against it, but when a friend offered it to me I was like "YOLO" and tried it. ... Point of the story, I don't feel like I missed out on much. It sucked.

131- I thumb you down for using YOLO in any scenario. If I could twice I would again for you disrespecting bacon.

GNR93, you could log out and thumb their comment down a second time. I'd say it's worth the extra effort.

HonestTruth 5

-47 Yikes. Well the reason I do not eat bacon is because my Religion forbids it.

Zolziski,I didn't think I could do that, thank you it was well worth the effort. HonestTruth, i may not be religious but I do respect your beliefs, more importantly I give you credit for resisting the allure of bacon all these years.

It's ok, bacon isn't really that good.

Woops, you made a typo over there- *:(

EvilTwerp 12
deransc 19

Thumbs down x2. 1 for using "YOLO", and 2 for saying bacon sucked.

Go get some. Now. I'm not kidding, go get some bacon now. I'll wait.

O_O impossible! It must be impossible! Life cannot be so cruel as to do that to you! My thoughts go out to you in this hard time :(