Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her Snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face, then tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I was chewed out by my boss for reporting someone not wearing a mask in our store, because, "no one likes a snitch." I'm the security guard. It's my job to report that to her. FML
Today, as an usher at a beauty pageant, I was helping other patrons when a group walked past me and sat. I politely asked to see their tickets, but one of the women got angry and ripped hers up to throw the pieces in my face. Without a ticket, I had to kick her out. The police were called. FML
Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
Today, I assisted my first customer at my first job as a Target cashier. When I rang up this lady's items and gave her the total, not only did she hiss at me and spit in my face, but she also dragged my manager over and demanded that he fire me. He did. FML
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML
Today, a customer asked a question I couldn’t answer. I asked if she would wait while I consulted someone else, but she spat in my face and stormed off. My manager saw, wrote me up for refusing to help, and gave the woman a gift card for her troubles. FML
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Top comments
Dukeje 0
Oh, dude that sucks...i hate most people too. Respect and courtesy to others seems to be a thing of the past.
DrAwesome 6
Dude, this was the best-worded FML I've read in a while. The ending gave me a giggle. :3
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Comments (151)
The_Fonz_fml 0
sorry OP that's how the world works.
rallets 23
so throwing stuff at peoples faces and spitting on them is ok?
Molord1 0
Shhhhhh don't question the Fonz and his wisdom
MissErikaHart 0
well come on op, it's only a candy bar. people like u r douches
tj79 3
you should have tazered her ass
The_Fonz_fml 0
I never said it was ok I was just saying that in the world there will be people that you like and ones you don't it's a gamble on how they act.
thejacl 0
if you think this is "normal" then u are the douche. you should have punched her in the face. guaranteed last time she'll pull that shit
itsgen 16
I totally agree would it have killed you to let her take it in? she could have been diabetic
sadistmonkey 19
If they were diabetic then they should've said so instead of throwing it at her face and spitting at her.
ChubEchaser 0
Seriously? People are attacking the guy for doing his job? no it would not have killed him to let her in but rules are rules and he was there to enforce them. OP, OC...
jewban 3
people can be such dicks/c*nts sometimes
TheVariableX 0
I hate rent-a-cops, makea the world go round...
warpig182 0
Dude ignore these retartds down there. Next time kick her ass out. There is no reason to disrespect someone with a gun and a badge. Or just people with guns.
Aksel_fml 0
what are all of you talking about, its a freakin snickers you gotta eat those i would have punched rent a cops and ate it while sitting on his passed out body
docscientist 10
Guns don't buy respect, 88. Police or security guards aren't owed respect any more than anyone else. A douche with a badge is still a douche. And op, it's a candy bar, the stadium deliberately prevents outside food and drink because they price gouge people, it's a disgustingly greedy practice. Just let people with a damned snickers bar inside next time.
beastmode21 0
you shouldve kicked her ass out of the stadium
aeshleyrose 6
Riiiiiight. So OP should have risked getting fired so that some extremely nasty woman could have a candy bar. Makes total sense. Him doing his job doesn't make him a douche.
yourlifesfucked 0
How is your life ******? Free candy, and it's not even Halloween!
Twisted107 4
yeah, and he's just doing his job
franniedottp 8
yeah, so he gets free candy WHILE getting paid!! that's freaking AWESOME!
154rct 7
hey she just just had a bad day that's what u think on bad days
corytheboss 0
2=^win
b182link 0
ew
BlindGuardian 0
Well, at least you got to keep the Snickers bar:D
flgirlwguitar 2
Agreed - I do the same job, but we're outright told that a single candy bar is OK, a whole bag of candy bars isn't. Snickers are popular with diabetics because they also have a lot of protein, so they often claim medical need anyway. Not that I haven't had someone swearing at me because she couldn't bring her fried chicken in so her kid wouldn't have to eat "stadium crap" or the one that was bringing in an empty SoBe juice bottle (the glass one) because she was diabetic. I've been at this long enough to know when you're lying.
starberries 0
#8, assaulting a security guard seems like a bad idea. Would you have thrown her out of the stadium for this?
nerdface89 2
#8, I think most people would realise an empty bottle means you are lying
ImaginaryFoe 1
I'm guessing it was not professional sports based on location (if I'm wrong, please correct me). When I did this job for an extremely brief stint, we were told no food but we could use our judgement except when it came down to foods actually sold at the stadium. Professional sports don't often sell candies, school athletics often do. All that is moot, however. I would've ejected her and told her to leave before the police were called. Acceptable, and plausible, bluff.
warpig182 0
I hide whatever I have. Slerpies gummy bears hamburgers I can sneak almost anything into one of those places. Anit no way in hell Im gonna pay 8 bucks for 3 chicken strips.
flgirlwguitar 2
#33 - For the assault, yes - and believe me it's happened and I have - but part of the reason we do allow small amounts of food are to prevent unnecessary interactions. It isn't worth it. #50, you'd be surprised. . .I just used that as an example, but the excuses people come up with are hysterical.
DrAwesome 6
Dude, this was the best-worded FML I've read in a while. The ending gave me a giggle. :3
spaerro 8
*Then. ******* then. ?
fylbear 1
Free snickers, and fhl she couldnt sneak it in. xD
stlphil 0
Is it wrong to laugh.
Hockaday 0
ydi...it's a bloody snickers bar.
cloudy01 0
He was doing his job...
killaro 0
Yay free candy. you should be happy you got candy. :O you should eat it if she looks at you
KiddNYC1O 22
then*
Dukeje 0
Oh, dude that sucks...i hate most people too. Respect and courtesy to others seems to be a thing of the past.