By mydadsgonnakillme - 08/02/2013 07:13 - United States - Santa Barbara

Spicy
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
I agree, your life sucks 64 546
You deserved it 12 432

Same thing different taste

Comments

Legend, keeper, idiot, Mr. Large balls, more guts than cents. All of the above. Just glad it is not my daughter.

#33 you are correct. Damn this autocorrect on my cell.

unknown_user5566 26

"Cents" could still work. Maybe OP's boyfriend is broke. You never know! :)

he may be broke because he was broken...damned hospital bills...

TheDrifter 23

He forgot to add in "first and hopefully last" as qualifiers. Dad would likely still not take it well, but it might save him from some of the wrath.

And this is why my daughter isn't dating until she's 18. Maybe 30.

unknown_user5566 26

You really think you're going to be able to stop her, Doc? I'd imagine she's a feisty little thing. At least she will be if she takes after you.

TheDrifter 23

The trick isn't to stop her, it's to make every boy in town so scared of you that they won't date her.

unknown_user5566 26

Very true, Drifter. I'm assuming Doc could bust out his handy surgery tools to effectively scare the bejeesus out of all the boys.

starcrossddream 14

Surgery tools...ya that would have me running and screaming. YIKES! I'm glad I'm a girl and don't have to deal with the threatening dad scenario....although dads come around if you treat their daughters right.... Mother-in-laws on the other hand *hides*

Surgeons probably know best how to kill and make it look like a medical problem.

80- I can picture it now! Doc asks, "would you like to see my antique surgery kit? >takes bf into side room to show him >holds up antique scalpel, showing it >"ya know, I'm a trauma surgeon, but I know how to do a dick-ectomy..." >glares seriously at bf >boyfriend runs away screaming >no one dares to date DocBastard's daughter again >(his)fw everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg

80, She can start dating girls, you know.

Yea, but I don't see a girl getting his daughter preggo anytime soon..

122, so if there's no chance of pregnancy (infertile/sterile male partner, or female partner), f***ing her brains out is okay with her dad? Somehow I think this is a strange logic.

tmmundy 17

Yes, I said my daughters wouldn't date until they were 18 either, but my oldest had a boyfriend at 16, but could only go on double dates, my youngest didn't have a boyfriend until she was 18, she's picky and knows boys only want one thing. That being said, they were good girls, didn't end up pregnant or on drugs, and both fixing to graduate from college. So letting them date is not so bad, but with restrictions.

spiritfang11237 16

139, strange logic? definitely but my mother would much rather me be a lesbian than have a boyfriend who could get me pregnant. I wish I was joking.

153, I always thought overprotective parents were afraid that some a****le would corrupt their "cute little girl/princess", regardless of partner's gender. It turns out that some of them are simply afraid of pregnancy.... but apparently won't even care if their daughter starts sleeping around a lot, as long as there's zero chance of pregnancy... I guess I learned something new (and possibly terrifying) today. Good luck with your mother.

Wheeeeeeeeeee 4

Lots of idiots here, I see. There is nothing healthy about wrapping a teenage girl in cottonwool and even less healthy about trying to terrify a teenage boy for liking said girl.

This guy's got balls.. But he may not have them for much longer if he keeps talking like that around your daddy.

You had sex before your parents knew about him?

perdix 29

. . . and ended by leaving in a body bag.

Two men enter...one man leaves. Winner gets to be the protector of OP.

I think OPs and her Boyfriend's age are gonna be a huge factor in this. if he was older he very well may have said it as an ice breaker in which case bravo.. but I read it as a little punk kid trying to be a smartass in which case the kid needed to be smacked. Totally disrespectful if he is the latter and not the former

ninjaqueen101 18

Could he not have come up with a better opening line?

Speaking as a dad, I'd be digging a hole right now. And working out an alibi. Gotta admire his courage, though!

Also speaking as a father, if the boyfriend is 18 or older, I'll be introducing him to the hole I have dug in the back 40 at gunpoint. If he's younger, I'll just slap him on the back an say, "that's funny, kid, wanna go for a walk?" In either case, boyfriend will be among the missing.

Zut? 4

Well aren't you a violent piece of shit? Funny how those who worry most about respect are generally the ones least deserving of it.

so awesome, I wouldn't want my boyfriend to say that to my father but epic