Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
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Top comments
golfer_boi 10
Your boyfriend is a legend.
NeDaroft 5
So when's the funeral?
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Comments (96)
xRezSynn 15
Is he ok now?
farewellthebeast 8
Quick someone contact the director and writers of American Pie we've got our selves an opening scene.
RedPillSucks 33
Depends on what you use them for, I guess. I'm terrible at golfing with my guns, and don't get me started about darts.
RedPillSucks 33
Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix
kat33_fml 7
Don't worry mine said if they found out I was sexually active and I "embarrassed our family" they would disown me. But yes my mom told me the same.
cgguardian 17
Such a classy gentleman...or parts of a gentleman, now~
perdix 31
Is your dad overprotective or does he realize that you are a Trouble Magnet?
Kkkdawg 27
I'm thinking, or rather hoping, that his nerves got the best of him and he just kinda blurted it out. Hopefully he corrected himself. If OPs dad is intimidating, I could see the bf being super nervous and saying something stupid.
iwbhevrything 4
hahaha
Nicole1225 14
Your boyfriend is inappropriately awesome.