Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
golfer_boi 10
Your boyfriend is a legend.
NeDaroft 5
So when's the funeral?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
shrdlu 28
Sounds like that's the BF's only interest in the OP.
That_nigga96 0
What was her username? And plus he's dumb for saying that
Jaevwyn 17
FYL OP, but your username is slightly inaccurate, it should be "mydadisgonnakillhim"
Jellobomb 5
What happens next?!
wlddog 14
Just show him the pet pigs in the back yard. They get real hungry after not being fed for a few days. You will find out real quick how serious he is about the daughter.
bigbootcat 2
YDI for having a piece of shit for a boyfriend and YDI for not keeping your legs shut.
sdh715 6
That is so disrespectful. I would not find that funny at all.
BananerzFresh 12
Points for honesty.
AliveLikeFire 7
YDI for dating a stupid asshole.
Albarufus 13
How was the funeral?