By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 347
You deserved it 1 890
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

HyperTek 16

What's the problem this shit is hilarious. :D

50 2

Comments

disasterlydeed 26

That must have sucked

22 42
awildwhisper 30

I would have said "Father, my mouth is open, teach me your ways!"

38 1
Talis99 26

Does anyone think these shit-ass puns are going to get upvotes? And I hope that's not you in the pic because it looks like a sex doll rolled in cinnamon or something.

12 40
whysobeachy 37

Woah, calm the **** down, #10. No need to get rude about this. How somebody looks does not, in any way, influence what they say.

21 4
gatorclay97 28

I laughed my ass of at the sexdoll in cinnamon thing ?

30 2
TheNewGuy03 28

10 ... is kinda right. 1's picture really does look exactly like 10's description.

2 1
disasterlydeed 26

Yes this is really really me don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful <33333

1 1
CheekyRaccoon 27

Well you don't get an offer to suck on nipples of knowledge everyday, so I'd assume he accepted.

30 1
vikky538 28

Say yes to the nipples!! said nobody ever before!!!

0 10
HyperTek 16

What's the problem this shit is hilarious. :D

50 2
rebel33 10

I am so sorry. That must have been traumatizing.

3 24
toasted1 13

Your dad sounds rad. I hope you suckled from his time-tempered tried n true teats!

29 2
TheNewGuy03 28

I would personally LOVE to meet a dad like this. We'd be instant best friends.

19 2
TheKingOfHearts 19

You know want thing I like better than nipples? KNOWLE- (gets pushed off a cliff)

4 17
anonymous198913 26

At least your boyfriend knows he can be relaxed around your father. It's better than your father threatening him the whole time (which happens with overprotective parents)

13 1
SecundusSecunda 27

If I was your boyfriend I would've definitely laughed at that! Or perhaps I would have replied with some "edited" Meet the Fockers line like: "I have nipples, (insert dad's name here), could you milk my nipples for knowledge?

10 0