By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 334
You deserved it 1 885

Same thing different taste


disasterlydeed 26
awildwhisper 30

I would have said "Father, my mouth is open, teach me your ways!"

Talis99 26

Does anyone think these shit-ass puns are going to get upvotes? And I hope that's not you in the pic because it looks like a sex doll rolled in cinnamon or something.

Woah, calm the **** down, #10. No need to get rude about this. How somebody looks does not, in any way, influence what they say.

I laughed my ass of at the sexdoll in cinnamon thing ?

10 ... is kinda right. 1's picture really does look exactly like 10's description.

disasterlydeed 26

Yes this is really really me don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful <33333

CheekyRaccoon 27

Well you don't get an offer to suck on nipples of knowledge everyday, so I'd assume he accepted.

Say yes to the nipples!! said nobody ever before!!!

What's the problem this shit is hilarious. :D

I am so sorry. That must have been traumatizing.

Your dad sounds rad. I hope you suckled from his time-tempered tried n true teats!

I would personally LOVE to meet a dad like this. We'd be instant best friends.

You know want thing I like better than nipples? KNOWLE- (gets pushed off a cliff)

At least your boyfriend knows he can be relaxed around your father. It's better than your father threatening him the whole time (which happens with overprotective parents)

If I was your boyfriend I would've definitely laughed at that! Or perhaps I would have replied with some "edited" Meet the Fockers line like: "I have nipples, (insert dad's name here), could you milk my nipples for knowledge?