Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
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Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
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Top comments
golfer_boi 10
Your boyfriend is a legend.
NeDaroft 5
So when's the funeral?
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Comments (96)
papi_dulce 1
dad-kid you got some big balls kid-can't buy underwear, balls don't fit
loserman67 36
Does your boyfriend have any teeth left in his head? Does he even have a head left? I know if my daughter had a boyfriend that said that to me on an first introduction or for that matter pretty much ever, I'd hit him so hard his momma would feel it... You say your dad is overprotective, my advice to you is to dump this schmuck. He has a rotten sense of humor as well as timing and will be nothing but trouble for you.
DumbingOfAmerica 9
On the plus side, at least he was polite.
TKA2012 6
Well at least he's polite :P
X_Codes 11
Oh to be a fly on the wall during THAT conversation...
outoftown 27
High on the wall, above the splatter field.
obviousboy 8
The troll is strong in this one.
j_729 18
Did he slam a machete in to a tree stump and tell him that would bet his Dick if he broke his daughters heart?
KiddNYC1O 22
"Why don't we play duck, duck goose?"
musikchik 6
What an idiot, really.
alitbaby 14
nice. previous Fml reference :P