Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
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Top comments
golfer_boi 10
Your boyfriend is a legend.
NeDaroft 5
So when's the funeral?
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Comments (96)
Dimence 9
He has some balls, hope he can keep them
Wizboy 17
So what did your dad say, or do next? :D
firefly319 7
I'm sure that his response was devastating, but hopefully you can laugh along with us soon.
theboy13 13
What an idiot
thereseg69 7
What a keeper
greenie213 23
39- You realize that you can use guns more than one time, do you not?
maimengming 10
My parents would flip out. They're over protective too. My mom has told me before that she thinks that anyone who has sex before marriage is a *****. We actually got into a massive fight about it. So, no. Not everyone does it, and parents don't have to approve.
Mr25_fml 14
Aaand now you boyfriend is dead
ulissey_fml 22
One's Dad. One's dead.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
He was probably nervous about meeting dad and tried to think of something witty to say and his brain malfunctioned... could happen to anyone.