By bacon lovers worst nightmare - 26/09/2012 06:57 - United States - San Diego

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 095
You deserved it 5 866

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2012 really is the year that the world ends. :(




It's a sign. The world will end in 2012. D:

MrBond007_fml 6

#1- Sorry I know this is totally irrelevant, but where is your profile pic taken? I'm on the app so I can't pm

Oh man. Blts are going to ******* suck now..

#15 way to try and steal #2's thunder.

I don't think this is a fyl, it's more of a fel - **** everyone's life

cheshireau 26

I was waiting for this FML to appear and the following comments to flood.

65 agreed. They should have more voting buttons. Fml Ydi Wtf Fol

Well... Better drink my own piss.

I think he heard wrong. There will be a shortage of bacon EATERS soon. You know, heart attack, stroke, obesity related death etc

165, go away! We are losing our bacon and now you are coming here to slander it's good name? Go be blasphemous somewhere else!

I've been eating so much bacon, My booty is a-shaking, And every time I wiggle, My nipples they-a jiggle.

UrCapsLockOn 12

being muslim feels so good right now :D

It's those damn VEGANS!!!!!

Excuse me while I eat some bacon and respect women even though I can see their ankle.

Haha, I saw this on Chelsea Lately.

jim_bolicious 4

you better not be complaining about Canadian bacon. Canadian bacon kicks just as much butt at strip bacon

19-I don't know for a fact, but I'm saying with 50% confidence it's at the great escape lodge in lake George. Upon closer inspection though, my certainty dwindles.

Hey, it was taken in Turkey. :-)

Damn it, lol. I know a place in upstate New York that has a hotel with a little water park in it that has a part that looks just like that, except for a few details I couldn't recall correctly. Oh well, it's a big world, so many beautiful places in every single country :)



2012 really is the year that the world ends. :(

The price of bacon is going to raise so much. They already went crazy making petrol 2.20 a litre, bacon is next ):

Inheritance 10

*Breaking news bacon has now gone up a total of $5.20 today. The world is at the end as we know it. God speed everyone, god speed.*

It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

93- You feel fine?! I mean, I know it's just a song, but bacon is disappearing and YOU FEEL FINE?!?!?!

): I don't like bacon. No worries. It just means more for you. . . well what is left of the supply.

This is worse than that time the earth stood still.

MoNnEy_MiiTE 3

Well actually eceryone being skinny wont be soo bad.

106, Yeah, at least when the Earth stood still I got to look Keanu Reeves. Where is he now??? If I can't say, "Mmmmmm...Baaaaaacon..." I at least want to be able to say, "Mmmmmmm... Keanu Reeves." *Thinks about Keanu Reeves* Mmmmmmm... Keanu Reeves... Gee, I feel better already!

Cause bacon is the only fattening food that exist..

132- The older one from 1951 was much better.

Yeah, I know it was a remake but that's the only version I've seen. I assume that the original must be much better since the remake was pretty lousy, it's only redeeming feature being the opportunity to oggle Keanu Reeves. Mmmmmmm... Keanu Reeves... Anyway, the original movie must have been awesome if it was such a classic that it was deemed a worthy enterprise to remake it fifty years later.

Next goes the Nutella

Inheritance 10

*On a side note 93 shows no moral towards bacon. Question is, is he human!? The world may never know..*

The shortage will be in 2013 actually. Due to the rising cost of feed for the pigs, farmers are moving on to animals that can provide more products, like chickens or cows. Don't worry though, we still have turkey bacon. Just as delicious

Inheritance 10

Don't forget KFC or Popeyes

Inheritance 10

Don't forget KFC or Popeyes

Well, at least we can go to Canada and get some Canadian bacon....No! It's not the same! *cries*

Canada has this shortage too :(

Now THAT would be a tragedy

Despair, hate, anarchy!! We shall destroy all civilization due to the lack of bacon.

9out of 10 people love bacon, the other person is a liar


it's 2013, and no Apocalypse.... YET MUWAHAHAHAHAHA

Mother of God...

Damn you epic meal time!

HAHAHAHA fools, they laughed at me and told me "you can't raise a pig in your house". Now look who will enjoy bacon for free in the coming months!

82- the irony in your name....

So... It has begun...

Epic Mealtime is stealing all the worlds bacon

Why would this even make the news???

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

How do you feel anything if you don't like bacon?!

mizuki123 8

I'm not a big fan of bacon either.

KingCeltic77 18

I bet you hate puppies too.

...and steal lollipops off children.

80 - I totally just read your post in Red's voice :P

You should abide by the bacon flowchart.

Airman1988 9


80, and 87, I am favoriteing this FML because of you two. Thanks for the laugh! XD

You are not an American

137, I'm not American and I love bacon! I think you meant not human! I went through a phase in childhood where I didn't like it but I look back and think "what was I thinking?! bacon is so good!"

You mean they eat bacon in countries other than America??? NO WAY!!!

If you all must know I got pretty bad food poisoning when I was younger from eating pork on the spit. I have never been able to stomach anything pork-related since. It's just my personal choice, I don't hate on anybody that choses to eat it so why all the hate towards me for choosing not to? As a nutrition student, I could even go into great detail on the negative nutritional impacts regarding bacon, but I won't do that because I respect each individuals choice to choose what they wish to eat as I have done. What I mean by my comment is, I feel their pain because like everybody, I have many favourite foods that I would be devastated to miss out on. And clearly bacon is a favourite food of OP's. So rather than criticizing me over something so trivial, leave me to my personal preferances and I'll leave you to yours. Ciao.

ps...I have tried pork/bacon since and I still do not enjoy it as, believe it or not, people have different taste preferences! How completely shocking!

oh and one final thing, #137 - I am clearly not American. I'm Australian and bloody proud!

I don't mind bacon, but I wouldn't care much if it didn't exist...


woops pressed post accidentally haha fail...#187 I have tried turkey bacon and I still don't like it because well, I don't like bacon! Not very hard to understand :)

167 We do not need to hear your life story doubtless no one else will listen when they hear you hate bacon bacon also hates you and well see how you like it when trampled by a pack of surviving porkers

thelinlinx3 10

195- yeah but you don't have to be an asshole about it. They're entitled to state their opinion about bacon. Hell, it's odd that anybody would have a serious discussion about it since, well, it's just bacon.

Personally, I can't eat pork for religious reasons, but I still love turkey bacon. It sucks that most eateries don't carry it, though.

Briiyahh 7

You obviously don't if you don't like bacon..

238- your profile is awesome!

kayliers 5

I HATE bacon! It's nasty fried stomach fat. I would never touch that crap.

I'm not a fan of bacon either. But believe me, if there was a chocolate shortage I would be making an FML on that so I also feel bad for OP and all other bacon lovers.

#4, 167, etc: Criticize you for not being a bacon fan? No, heartfelt thanks! More for the rest of us. People, get your priorities straight: don't criticize bacon-abstainers during an imminent bacon shortage!

mizuki123 8


Lol I used to not have a problem with it (not my fav but I could eat it), but then I got pregnant with my gorgeous little son, who is now 5 weeks, and he hated it ... So yeah gone off it now

iOceanus 18

Bacon is no big deal. Bring on the thumb downs!

zakkcarter 7

Are you saying youve never had Irish bacon? Or Danish bacon? You crazy!!


Shun the non believer! SHUN! SHHHUUUNNN!!!!


There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who like bacon and those who won't admit it. ;)

Torbey, I am American but currently living in Australia. I have noticed the bacon in Australia is not like American bacon. To Americans, your bacon is more like ham or Canadian bacon. Have you tried bacon from America? It is so different.

I like snake soup :D

#361 No I haven't tried American bacon but I doubt I would like it. I have very peculiar taste buds, I don't eat any red meat either. But of course I didn't mention that above for fear of being thumbed down more than what I already have haha

195, don't insult people's IQ when you can't even proof read your bio.

38 replies of hate just because one man had a problem with bacon This why I love this site

I'm a teenage girl haha.....yes I love it too anyway :)



It's a sign of the

Sign of the what? This scares me because I imagine you've been taken before you could finish warning us of whatever was coming, and what kidnapped you. You have been silenced!

What #5 was obviously trying to say is that it's a

They're getting to everyone now! ^

They were trying to say that the

There's this guy outside so I have to type fast but what they were saying before they were taken is that it's

Guys! I hear footsteps downstairs and im really scared. But i learned how to stop the bacon from running out. All you have to do is

One too many

jellycorn 13

Bacon.... Thieves?

Hands down the greatest thread I've read on FML so far. That laugh is going to get me through a long work day.

Same here, cuz just recently my boss disappeared... Hold on, someone's at the drive thru window, I gotta take this ord - God Almighty, it's a

Guys! I found the answer to our problem! All we gotta do is-HNNNNNNG

never enough #90!!!! Never enough!

zen1979 16

Looks like someone's got the *puts on sunglasses* ..

Oh, look, it's Keanu Reeves! Hi, Keanu, what's

Annnd now its done

Annnd now its done

The cure for cancer is

Way to kill it 174

Marcella1016 31

I know what it is but I'm afraid to say it because the might

DoNotEnter 5

Meanwhile, the Middle East is unaffected.

She was too busy rushing out to Wal-Mart to buy all the bacon there's know, until a fat lady runs over her and take all the bacon.

winnerme123 8

Everyone's trying to say that all you need to do is { gunshot in background } { long silence }

Please stop^

I have this secret stash of bacon nobody knows about it yet! If you just follow this trail starting at

What dafuq did I start?!

legobrony4621 1

it's quite obvious that it's candlejack. oh god, what have i

Donniehw 5

The location of the new found unlimited supply of bacon is.... xP

RougeRamirez 8

Weird how all of these people

Hey everyone! I finally found the way to

I better start stocking up on that bacon!

Can it be frozen? If so am going to buy an enormous man-sized chest freezer and completely fill it with bacon! Mwah ha ha

BunchieRules 31

83 - Of course. But be sure to buy a TON of bacon. The real man needs at least a carton fried every day. It's an essential for apocalypse survival items; almost as important as water.

TheDrifter 23

Bacon freezes very well. Sorry to comment so late, I had to run to Costco for a backup spare generator just in case the power goes out to the freezers in my bunker. Well, that and get another pallet load of bacon.

Costco bacon is not very tasty :/

Wtf? Noooo breed more bacon. Is this when people start ransacking the stores for bacon?

I meant looting stores for bacon sorry.

Dont you mean breed more pigs? Or has bacon suddenly become an independent species and I somehow missed it...

Ransacking & looting have a very close definition. No need to apologize.

That can't just breed more. The reason there's a shortage is because of the drought this year. No rain=no corn. No corn= no food for the pigs.

winnerme123 8

No food for pigs= more butchered pigs More butchered pigs = more bacon More bacon = a world that lives on

More butchered pigs = more bacon this winter. More butchered pigs and low corn supply = fewer pigs next season. Fewer pigs next season = oh, shit....


Time to buy guns and ammo to protect what little bacon you have left.

All for one and one for all :-p

But one for all implies we need to share the bacon.. D:

One for all? Are you suggesting I should share my 1 piece of bacon with everyone o.O?? No! MINE!

Ahw 49 beat me to it :(

Why dont u use the guns and ammo to shoot more pigs to get even more bacon

agonydrum 7

No because then the pigs can't breed to make more bacon, I say shoot the people so there's more for the rest of us

Askzombie 14

No bacon? ALIENS

BBoxall 0


Maybe theres something im not seeing, but bacon can be made from many animals, so i dont see why a shortage.

We're talking pork bacon here. Not that other shit. I'll just start farming my own bacon crops. And I'll use pigs to protect it. Ya. That's what I'll do. Anyone know how to start up a bacon tree?

BunchieRules 31

42 - I'm not sure where you can find a bacon tree, but with enough maple trees you'll have a lifetime supply of syrup for the bacon. Also, in the future, we may be able to genetically modify trees to grow what we want on them. Hopefully, the bacon won't be completely gone by then...

LiterOfCola 16

42: You can get bacon seeds at any local home depot. They're not usually on display so you have to ask someone out back in the gardening section.

lmaouloser 5

I hope you're kidding?

217- your username says it all.

Pork bacon not that turkey stuff