Miscellaneous: Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my... - FML

By raybandy - 24/01/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 272

You deserved it 2 373

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 25/11/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 261

You deserved it 4 163

Oh nose!

By Fried. - 14/05/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 134

By Dammit - 07/07/2012 04:45 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 547

You deserved it 5 871

By burned - 04/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 148

You deserved it 2 559

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 962

You deserved it 3 200

Roommate from hell

By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 10:57 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, after I had the place to myself for a while and it was easy to clean, my roommate returned and I woke up to trash piling up, dishes everywhere, and luggage full of sweaty laundry. Oh, and it smells like poo again, because he doesn't regularly shower. I want to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 167

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 09:43 - United States

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 568

You deserved it 4 451

By sweatstreaks - 16/09/2011 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 110

You deserved it 11 517

Biohazard

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I have to spray the kitchen whenever my new roommate cooks. Not only can he not cook, but what he usually makes is some godawful concoction of ramen noodles, canned tuna, Tuna Helper, and Ranch dressing for himself. The stink alone is enough to make me choke, but he smokes the entire time he makes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 105

By ohnolunch - 05/03/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 741

You deserved it 15 974

Next

Top comments

Emkaye 0

Friday 6 February 2009 2:38

It sucks even worse when you're in college and get to live on the poverty diet, then everyone eats your food without telling you.

lmfp 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 10:12

that sucks. present them with a bill, get your own cabinet and put a lock on it, have a small fridge in your room. oh, and help yourself to whatever food of theirs you want until they pay you back.

Comments

Emkaye 0

Friday 6 February 2009 2:38

It sucks even worse when you're in college and get to live on the poverty diet, then everyone eats your food without telling you.

blah_blah_shity 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 5:26

mmm delicious bacon

Valentina_Baby 7

Thursday 29 April 2010 23:32

eat their bacon xD

krazygirl100 9

Saturday 16 April 2011 10:51

all the bacon was gone mmm bacon sorry what was i saying

Shadow0B 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 20:13

*hugs raybandy, crying hysterically*

jim_witness 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:33

Cook up some of their clothes and eat with ketchup. That'll teach 'em.

KiyatsuFox 0

Monday 16 March 2009 15:31

I'd be so pissed off at them. ):

spitfire921 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 5:42

i would be so mad! my sympathies friend!

lmfp 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 10:12

that sucks. present them with a bill, get your own cabinet and put a lock on it, have a small fridge in your room. oh, and help yourself to whatever food of theirs you want until they pay you back.

Captainfail 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:32

Well, I loves me my bacon, so sorry about that.

thefinalpie 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 18:49

Your roomate ate your bacon? END HIM!

foonja 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 23:47

So go get some.........

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The Top

Today, I am so sick and tired of watching my brother get everything he wants in life from being a bastard. He does everything I would consider bad and it’s made him rich and successful. I try and be a good person and all it got me is fired, and in danger of losing my car and house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 131

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 712

The Top

Today, I had a great idea for a group project at work, so I shared it with my team and my supervisor. They seemed to like it very much, except one guy in our group, who outranks me and who threw a massive temper tantrum because, “I didn't consult him first before sharing it.” This big baby makes 3 times my income. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 96

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 568

You deserved it 4 756

Today, my coworker, who I'm secretly in love with, asked me what my plans for the weekend were. I thought she might have been about to ask me out, so I said that I had no plans. She then rolled her eyes and said that she hates talking to, "boring people who shut down every conversation starter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 480

You deserved it 1 652

Today I was offered an opportunity on Instagram from a local lady to take photos of her home for her. I told my friends, because I was shocked. They were shocked too. But in the nicest terms possible, they were shocked because my Instagram "isn’t really professional enough to get such offers." Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 174

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 748

You deserved it 84 094

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 270

You deserved it 3 802