Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
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Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
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Comments (880)
dem54 0
lemme guess your answer was, "both of you can shut the **** up!" ?
lovalamp 0
Yeah, a lot of people say blame it on the parents, and they're right, it may not directly be your fault, but at the end of the day, your children are a direct reflection on you... So figure out what's wrong and nip it in the bud.
englishmuffin 0
I have nothing to say except that this FML makes me sad at the state of our society. FOL
Poetry_Puddle 0
I feel sick at this.
dancing_bear 0
You're a brilliant parent, aren't you? **** their lives.
saxxy_beast 0
There's the results of today's choice of listening to that crappy rap music at work.
mickeyowns 0
dude wtf are you teaching then???? possibly rap... lol
mrose57 0
Bad mom for sure! Better get those little heathens under control or check the Yellow Pages for the nearest juvenile detention center, since that's where they're headed.
fuzzybrownbear 0
It is possible that this is caused by the public school system. My best friend has a ten year old cousin that goes to a inner city school and he has already had sex.
ShakeZula7 0
Hahaha, I'm not voting because I don't see anything wrong, really. You sound like you have an amazingly entertaining household.