Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
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Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
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Comments (880)
BooJeanIsIt 0
That's HILARIOUS!!! I almost fell out of my chair!!! Best FML I've read in a while! Too funny! Thanks for the laugh :)
TheSickness 0
Ahahahahahahaha! Fail. YDI, for raising kids with that kind of mouth. Or maybe you say those thongs a lot. 0_o
littlegoldwoman 0
Yep, I usually try to be encouraging but I have to agree that your life is effed and now so are your kids lives. Shame on you! Parenting FAIL!!
F_Y_Comments 0
Not only is your daughter well spoken her biological knowledge is impeccable.
Sportsfan86 3
LMAO! FYL.
abgirl 0
A lot of people are really quick to blame the parents and they probably don't have kids themselves. The major socializing forces for kids are not parents or the family anymore. It's school, and media. A parent can teach them how to deal with these forces, but they can't protect them from them. Give the OP the benefit of the doubt. This was probably the first time he/she heard the kids use words like these and probably used the opportunity to let them know it is really not OK to talk like that.
SummerLover95 0
woooooooooooooooooooooooooooow society these days. That's all I have to say.
Anon_Coconut 0
=(
Somesmellyhobo 0
Where the frack did they learn that? >.> I just realised the "You deserved that one" votes say 6969.. I'm so immature xD
livvyylou 0
i definitely learned allllll that in school. i don't think its your fault, parents can only block out so much :/ but seriously? 7 & 8? thats crazyyy. i had no idea what any of that meant when i was that age