Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
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Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
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Comments (880)
ShenziSixaxis 0
Time to block HBO and ShowTime.
cmac86 24
Oh and one more thing: stay off the MTV, vh1, rap music, hip hop, and all that crap. It adds nothing to societey, everyone who listens to that mind numbing crap is arrested anyway, and if you start at this young age, perhaps they will only get a 25 year term when they're older.
xoxkarinexox 0
sorry for not commenting on the actual FML, but what does YDI &OP mean?
danisawesomerthe 0
Holy shit I didn't know wat jacking off meant till I was 11 and **** wen I was 12... Wow, yeah bad mom! Lol
glowingmonkeys 0
I didn't learn a single bad word from my parents. All from my friends and TV, but I sure as hell knew not to use them around my parents. I'd say you should've gotten out the belt, paddle, spoon, switch, or whatever you have. That's how I learned and I'm grateful for it.
spillproof 0
I'm adding this to my favorites. Your son starts young.
stop_whining 0
Newsflash: you are a bad parent.
shattered2004 0
when I was in 2nd grade I learned the f word at school. I didn't know what it meant and either did anyone else. We got in a circle and some girl told us the f word. I used it at home once and my mother told me if she ever heard me say it again she'd beat me. No doubt in my mind she would. I'm 18 now and I used it on a semi-regular basis. No one in my family swears and I never heard it at home, always at school or work (I work for the prosecuting attorney). As much as people hate to admit it, it's a language of certain professions. His pointing out it was a FML shows that he IS embarrassed, not that it was okay. If he had used it regularly he would not have been surprised. That being said, it's unfair to say that he's a bad parent or that kids learn 99% of what they know from their parents because that's not always true. Some do and some don't. It depends on the personality of the child.
renyark209 0
Uhhh... You know this isnt always the parents fault... Im gonna go ahead and guess the kids go to public school.
mattmag 0
Meh, I cursed a lot around my friends when I was 8 or 9, but never around family or adults. And for anyone blaming public schools, I learned to curse from kids at church, not from kids at my public school.