Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (880)
thisisnotmyname 0
Love the way everyone is blaming your parenting, as though they know what goes on in your home. Judging fail.
jasuvak 0
and the best parent award goes to.. the dumbass who let her little ***** speak like sailors. congrats, really (:
cuzcaelsaidso 0
wow 7 and 8? have fun with them when they get older.
jdkfgkjdfb 0
#1: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH PUBLIC SCHOOL. It's how they're being raised. (: OP: I hope you punished them severely. They're going to be sailors or rappers when they grow up.
iDontFail_xD 0
@#281, she probably heard it when the father and the wife were going at it, I can see it now: Father: " Ohhhh yes Julie " Mother: " PATRICK! OHHH RUB MY C*NT. HARDER HARDER " Yes indeed.
etar 0
Your a terrible parent. This isn't an FML its a FM parenting
paks7 0
parenting fail most definitely your fault i dont care if they learned it from you or not, its your responsibility to teach them that that is wrong i only got my mouth washed out with soap once because i KNEW what was appropriate to say in my house and what i should keep for my friends also there's nothing wrong with spanking as long as thats all that there is im only 19 and im definitely not caught up in all this politically correct shit that says spanking is child abuse...a good spanking or two will definitely teach you a lesson but these days do that...and somebody calls you in...
yungmoolahbaby 0
My first word was "****," and I said the phrases "son of a bitch," "assholes," and "niggers" more than anything else in my vocabulary before I hit the age of 5. My grandma's vocabulary was awful.
jollyholly414 0
wow...I would never say anything like that
Flipps 0
HOLY CRAP. That made my day. Was he actually jacking off though? :P