Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
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Top comments
skierguy 0
I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.
ambrz 0
Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol
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Comments (178)
exthalion 0
#50 obvuiously here saying she is 20 makes a difference cause it wouldnt matter if she wasn't from the U.S.
tigergirl72 0
wow, you're a jackass
becky_becks 0
Ew! RUM?! C'mon, vodka :P! And....you're dumb for keeping AN OPEN BOTTLE OF ALCOHOL IN YOUR CAR!
THEGUY_fml 0
I dont understand how u beeing twenty has anything to do with it?
THEGUY_fml 0
I dont understand how u beeing twenty has anything to do with it?
blahdsflksfd 0
No sex until youre married, no drinking until you are 21, especially not in a car. You should be arrested.
SpandexMan 0
At least you don't have to worry about her borrowing your car anymore.
peacesignmoose 0
#69 - Agree on the arrested thing if she drove drunk. But "no sex until you're married" and "no drnking until you are 21" - seriously?
Tsukasa_fml 0
You're 20. You have a Mustang. You're an idiot. No sympathy here.
Weil 0
#69- "No sex until youre married, no drinking until you are 21" What are you, retarted?