Intimacy: Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could...

By jackass - 13/04/2009 10:46 - United States

Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 853

You deserved it 82 707

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Same thing different taste

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 331

You deserved it 2 278

Awkward

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 06:30 - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 7 221

And then.....

By Emmpag - 02/02/2020 01:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 280

You deserved it 796

By Username - 06/06/2011 03:29 - United States

Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 700

You deserved it 4 107

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 022

You deserved it 4 325

By Anonymous - 11/03/2010 23:00 - United States

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 725

You deserved it 2 251

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 912

You deserved it 58 623

By ummWhat? - 23/12/2018 02:00

Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 156

You deserved it 201

By niii - 26/11/2008 04:26 - France

Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 231

You deserved it 14 043

Privacy

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 397

skierguy 0

Monday 13 April 2009 20:35

I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.

ambrz 0

Monday 22 February 2010 8:17

Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol

Comments

NoKo_fml 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 0:32

#114 his mother could be the one paying his insurance and or is th e actual owner of the car and he is the secondary driver

tdawgheath 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 7:54

Toys are weird, you fruit.

snoopy24_fml 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 17:50

117, maybe the reason he can afford a mustang is BECAUSE he lives at home and therefore doesn't have to pay rent or utilities (unless of course his parents are one of those who makes him pay rent / utilities for staying at home).

bgdaddy1711 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 19:47

this isnt a FML your just an idiot

alphabetcity 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 6:52

God are you people slow? The OP is saying theyre 20 because they are most likely underage. Not goddamn rocket science.

Poliz 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 10:07

I'm an Aussie, our legal drinking age is 18, we don't have that 'no open alcohol in cars' law, the age to buy sex toys and such is 18, so i just read this and laughed.

Gaiwa 0

Friday 22 May 2009 1:20

1: "No open alcohol in cars law" - how stupid is that? You're drunk or you're not. "The possibility to drink"... ?! Are people unable to OPEN it later? If its empty, so what? If its empty and you're not drunk, whats the danger? 2. You're 20. Sooo? I dont know, but I guess the most people drink alcohol with 16 (here its legal) und I guess, 90% are no longer a virgin with 16, too. And I guess the most parents know that. You're 20, having sex and drinking alcohol. Thats hardcore. 3. Living with the parents: So? Thats more or less normal. With 20, its no big deal. 4. Mustang: Having a job or rich parents helps. I know a lot of people who had a BMW or Porsche in this age. One got a ******* Ferrari for is 18th birthday....