Intimacy: Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could...

By jackass - 13/04/2009 10:46 - United States

Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 852

You deserved it 82 702

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Same thing different taste

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 331

You deserved it 2 278

Awkward

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 06:30 - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 7 221

And then.....

By Emmpag - 02/02/2020 01:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 279

You deserved it 796

By Username - 06/06/2011 03:29 - United States

Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 699

You deserved it 4 107

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 022

You deserved it 4 324

By Anonymous - 11/03/2010 23:00 - United States

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 725

You deserved it 2 251

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 912

You deserved it 58 620

By ummWhat? - 23/12/2018 02:00

Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 156

You deserved it 201

By niii - 26/11/2008 04:26 - France

Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 230

You deserved it 14 043

Privacy

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 396

skierguy 0

Monday 13 April 2009 20:35

I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.

ambrz 0

Monday 22 February 2010 8:17

Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol

Comments

adam10_fml 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 13:47

fake

Pettlez 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 14:37

I agree with skierguy about not seeing the point in saying "i'm 20" also none cares what car you have... just get to your point sooner next time.

NoKo_fml 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 14:46

ive never seen so many jealous idiots in one thread....the reason this person mentioned "mustang" is to oviously show off, and he/she has all the right to do so being that a mustang is a ******* sexy car (: also this isnt a fml, think of it this way..u have a nice car, u obviously get laid..seeing how u can afford a sports car and the high insurance that comes with it im guessing ur financially stable, and nothing wrong with living with ur parents..at age 20 ur still suppose to be in school (university/college duh) so obviously u need support of ur parents. dont listen to these jealous retards, keep having fun. just dont know what ur gonna explain to ur parents about the rum and sex toys.

babydoll86_fml 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 15:22

You're 20. So who gives a shit if you have sex and drink? Seriously.

snoopy24_fml 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 15:59

#81, not everyone who lives in america are conservative religious nuts.

ShamCross 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 16:43

Seeing as one in four people have an STD, sleeping around probably isn't a good idea. That's a 25% chance of getting a gift that keeps on giving.

Shadefall 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 17:00

#73 - Not retarded, just a Jesus lover. ;P Though some may consider those two to go hand in hand... >.> Sorry that happened to ya, though. XD I was driving my mom around once and realised Id left a condom in the car, had to quickly hide it. Im 19, but it wouldnt have stopped her conservative, catholic self from curb stomping me.

Juniorlucero 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 20:32

Damn yo now that's some shit LOL

Osakhomen 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 20:41

Your fault... ALWAYS throw away stuff that could be embarassing or ILLEGAL when your done using it... or hide it well if your not done with it... But if you're mom is anything like my mom, even if you hide it your car, she'll find it... So don't have it your car at all.