Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
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Top comments
skierguy 0
I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.
ambrz 0
Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol
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Comments (178)
yesbutnotyou 0
hahaha dumbass.
GloomySkyz 0
I facepalmed when i read #17.
shloppyJoe 0
meh. thats not such a big deal for us in Canada.
ikimb0 0
...FAKE
ScottyD620 0
Keep the booze in the trunk. I wish you would get pulled over with the bottle in your seat
artsci10 0
only americans would say "i'm 20" to represent being juvenile or underage...
kelmc623 0
OMG- MIKEY- IS THIS YOU????
ThisIsWhyImScott 0
#89 hahahahah agreed. and only a spoiled one at that! I am 19 and no where near owning a car, let alone a mustang!! (and who leaves that stuff out.......)
medfly 2
I don't get it.
sbass23 0
Eh it happens. My mom would have a heart attack but she's pretty chill, thankfully