Intimacy: Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could...

By jackass - 13/04/2009 10:46 - United States

Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 853

You deserved it 82 707

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 331

You deserved it 2 278

Awkward

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 06:30 - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 7 221

And then.....

By Emmpag - 02/02/2020 01:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 280

You deserved it 796

By Username - 06/06/2011 03:29 - United States

Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 700

You deserved it 4 107

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 022

You deserved it 4 325

By Anonymous - 11/03/2010 23:00 - United States

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 725

You deserved it 2 251

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 912

You deserved it 58 623

By ummWhat? - 23/12/2018 02:00

Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 156

You deserved it 201

By niii - 26/11/2008 04:26 - France

Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 231

You deserved it 14 043

Privacy

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 397

skierguy 0

Monday 13 April 2009 20:35

I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.

ambrz 0

Monday 22 February 2010 8:17

Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol

Comments

FMLfangirl89 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 7:32

oh the joys of being a canadian, I can drink at 18! anyway, since you are 20 I'm sure your mother already knows you have sex and drink so whatever. still embarrasing and stupid though, shouldnt leave that shit in your car.

NoKo_fml 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 10:35

fangirl u cant drink in canada till ur 19.. unless ur in quebec

wesurfeveryday 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 21:38

sex toys might be kinda embarassing but everytthing else seems ok. NOT a FML

wesurfeveryday 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 21:40

im starting to think this is a fake one written by an eleven year old.

an0nym0us9 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 7:38

people who think this is fake are ignorant... just because they cant imagine this being true doesnt mean its not. I actually thought this was my brother at first. I'm away at college right now but the other week i bought him a bottle of rum that i later saw in his car. my mom is also looking to get a different car for him because the mustang uses way too much gas, and this is supposed to happen real soon. I could also imagine him with condoms and sex toys in his front seat, i would never put that past him. Hes twenty.

an0nym0us9 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 8:00

#99... Isn't that a lot of assumptions for one comment? Many facts about std's and promiscuity, but no references or even logical basis for your claims, tsk tsk.. I think you just posted so you could use the phrase "the gift that keeps on giving." He never said he was driving with an open bottle of rum in his car. What would his mom have done to him if she found the bottle in the house/garbage? His car is probably the only safe place he knows he can hide things like that from his mom. I think some people just haven't ever had real fun in their lives so they feel the need to bring others down and make themselves feel better. Why don't they just go and have fun?

de_krieg17 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:49

come live in canada bro. you woulda been legal

ali_said 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:53

..... you're 20, its your life not your moms.

hilaryy_fml 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:18

I just got really confused because were i live the legal drinking age is 18 and i was like... so what? but then i realised that its 21 in other places. Poor you man.