Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
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Top comments
Grimmerie 31
Impregnate her.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Balls to you
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Comments (260)
RaidenEl 5
Lol yea elasticity makes a big difference..also it's not as tight as a keyhole and the babie is much thinner than a pumpkin...Altho I think birth would be more painfull
Brawldud 2
I think you deserve it. It's impossible to win an argument with a woman. You simply can't.
ThecomingofTan 9
You can if you Chloroform her and throw her in the trunk of your 1995 Nissan Maxima.
SoultheWolf 19
You should've slapped her HARD. I would never kick my fiance in the nuts, its not acceptable in the least. If I ever did (unless on accident) I would allow him to slap me. Seriously there is no reason to kick a man in the balls unless he's trying to harm you.
redreynard 14
Nuts to you. I solve arguments much the same way.
bntilley 2
I have a friend that has passed 2 kidney stones, and has given birth, and she said the kidney stones are worse, but not by much. As far as ball vs birth, I've given birth, and it hurt like nothing else I've ever experienced, but there's a reason for that pain, and while no, I will never forget the pain, ever, I do want a 2nd child because my son was worth the pain. since you get nothing for being kicked in the balls, I think that is worse.
iruelissparky 10
I agre
r2t 7
Think you were going to kicked in the balls either way.
cwest13 0
I just had a baby with no medication.. And it definetely hurts more!! The pain of being kicked in the balls will subside after a short while at least. Having a baby is hours of severe pain followed by weeks of a lesser but still, pain in just simple moving around.
vballgirl811 0
Sounds like you need a new girlfriend!
lovelife9 12
FACT: giving birth is the 2nd most painful thing. The first? Burning alive.
Tdevonner 0
levels of pain are all opinion based...just cuz yiu write the word "fact" in caps followed by a colon doesnt make it a fact. And since when do biology majors know about pain anyway...my sister has a p.hd in it n it seems to be all about cells...
sugarbear0727 19
I asked the doctors and nurses when I was in the hospital what childbirth was close to pain-wise. They told me the only thing more painful was being burned alive. Although I did it natural(not my choice), and my son was only 5lbs, it was still excruciatingly painful. I would go through it again though because only through that pain are you able to bring a life into this world. :)