Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
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Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
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Top comments
Grimmerie 31
Impregnate her.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Balls to you
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Comments (260)
NikkiMac89 2
Jesus. No one gives a shit that you're a biology major. You can continue spouting the same nonsense, but let's face it... you're not special, and you don't know what you're talking about. I'm in a similar program and I see people like you every day. Being a biology major isn't special. There are thousands of us. You can try that arrogant, know-it-all shit when you've completed medical school or some other doctorate program, but until then try and reign in your ridiculous impulses to brag. Oh, and for the record, biology classes do not *encompass* the studies of neurology and physiology. They barely touch on these topics... hence the years and years of field specific study that true experts in those fields complete before they can be considered experts.
mrmerino 0
Haha. I just watched that episode.
LaLa_coolKid 6
All the "You deserved it" were women, and all the "I agree, your life sucks" were men.
Tdevonner 0
Hold...ur just a pre med student? LMAO...everybodys a premed student. Yoi sir are prettttty much nothing. I mean, med students are still nothing as far as practicality. You are below the bottom of the totem pole. Built for repeating info but incapablr of realistically applying them to everday life.
almost34 4
Scientifically proven getting kicked in the balls hurts more. There's a pain scale and it is MUCH higher on it. The difference is that giving birth can last hours, while getting kicked in the balls last up to a minute.
almost34 4
Scientifically proven getting kicked in the balls hurts more. There's a pain scale and it is MUCH higher on it. The difference is that giving birth can last hours, while getting kicked in the balls last up to a minute.
gg95_fml 4
Dude no one cares let it go! Guys can be total wimps over pain tho! And just so u no as a girl who experiences pain daily, girls tolerate pain way better!! I would think that as a bio major at least u would he respectful??
BadassRumbleroar 4
your name suits your fml perfectly.
BrimfullOfAsher 20
Return the favor by knocking her up.
RainbowPanda1699 0
Think about it, if things were the other way around, you'd be a dad.