Love, Weird, Religion and Break-ups: Excuses, excuses

Excuses, excuses

By TJ. - 17/10/2022 10:00

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend. Why? She had been praying and came to the conclusion that God was telling her to leave so she could meet her soul mate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 127

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Same thing different taste

By hrtbrkn - 16/07/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because "God told him to." What God didn't tell him was that I would check his e-mail and find all the e-mails to and from his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 324

You deserved it 6 215

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 776

You deserved it 2 890

By Brad - 08/03/2009 05:33 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 381

You deserved it 7 536

By sadface - 11/08/2010 06:50 - United States

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 404

You deserved it 3 473

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 14:00

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 146

A good excuse

By Anonymous - 21/11/2019 01:00

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who broke up with me because God said she couldn't have a boyfriend, started dating my friend... Who she always told me she didn't even like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 280

You deserved it 225

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 079

You deserved it 3 737

Know your worth

By Anonymous - 20/05/2021 04:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 98

By internetadvice - 01/04/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that she wasn't really in love with me. She got that advice from an internet survey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 427

You deserved it 8 965

By socialix - 19/04/2015 01:03 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 724

You deserved it 3 424

RichardPencil 30

Monday 17 October 2022 15:38

Thank God you didn't get stuck with that religious fanatic!

Radulf 8

Tuesday 18 October 2022 1:03

the ways of the Lord are mysteriously - but you got damned lucky and/or she already met someone else.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 17 October 2022 15:38

Thank God you didn't get stuck with that religious fanatic!

Radulf 8

Tuesday 18 October 2022 1:03

the ways of the Lord are mysteriously - but you got damned lucky and/or she already met someone else.

wereallxmadhere 4

Thursday 20 October 2022 1:11

my money is on already met someone else based on her behavior in the days leading up to this

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Tuesday 18 October 2022 2:56

God works in mysterious ways. The plan was obviously for your benefit, not hers.

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and started crying, begging me to never break up with her, only for her to say 10 minutes later, "I don’t wanna be with you anymore." Then she asked me if she could buy me some pot, and, "Let’s watch movies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 102

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, I know my life is awesome when my partner and I have to plan watching movies and having sex around his drinking schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 249

Today I was very excited to go to the post office to claim a parcel. I didn't know what it could be, so I assumed it was a gift. It turned out to be a speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 134

You deserved it 2 592

Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 424

You deserved it 2 622

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 151

You deserved it 5 701

Today, I discovered that every time my period ends, I queef loudly and uncontrollably. I’m literally too embarrassed to see a doctor about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 362

Today, I got an electric razor and a lesson from my dad on how to shave my mustache and chin. I also got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 885

You deserved it 4 520

Excuses, excuses

Same thing different taste

A good excuse

Know your worth

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