By Stranded - 17/07/2009 07:58 - United States
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Why would he spend all that money and time on a romantic weekend if it wasn't serious...sounds like you're lucky to not have that guy if all he wanted was sex! That really sucks though, sorry.
chill out. he's not a bastard but an asshole. lol. girls do the same shit (even worse!) but sooo many more times than a guy :p guys have it worse in society. However, life is unfair, and in this case, i feel bad for the girl, b/c her situation is unfair. and if she has a brother, I would reccomend getting him to find the guy. lol
Guys have it worse in society?! Wtf? Women didn't get the vote until the early 1900's. Women still aren't fully considered equals in todays society!! Oh and OP, at least you found out he was a jerk now instead of later. I know you love him and it'll be really hard, but GET REVENGE!
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cunts, shut up. women get so fucking defensive and shit. everything is sexist. and i do not give one shit about when you could vote. you have the same rights now! so shut your vaginas up. every single FML i read that has a guy as a jerk or a guy makes a bad comment, every female on this site shoots him down. this is insane.
it is because he deserves to be shot down, its not like they are saying the whole male species is a jerk or a bastard... seriously you look into things to much, most people that get on the defensive have something to be ashamed of. So quit acting moronically and we will stop shooting you down.
greenburbon, I've also noticed that when a woman does something dumb/mean in an FML, people's comments tend to generalize her behavior to all women (see the one where the girl cries after being pulled over), whereas when a man does something dumb/mean, the comments tend to make dispositional attributions to that one individual (see the one where the husband teaches his daughter the wrong colors). There are exceptions, but that's the general rule. If you can attribute that trend to something other than a social bias against women, I'd really like to know what it is.
There you go; you just said "We're even". There are just as many assholes as there are bitches in this world, and in most developed countries (Canada, US, most of Europe, etc.), women are considered equal in rights. We could get into the double standard of promiscuity in men vs women, where men are considered players and women, sluts, but you can't even blame guys for that; statistically, they are hornier (on average, at least during and coming out of adolescence), and both men and women in today's society propagate the double standard. In my experience, "slut" has been used more frequently by women and "player", by men. Sexism is probably more frequent in guys, but today, it's used "playfully" (whether it's demeaning or not, but the girls I know don't seem genuinely offended by it). I believe in women's rights, but I often find that some of them take it as far as becoming chauvinists (what they so dearly despise) themselves. And what the hell is with people and revenge when their relationships fall through? It takes two to tango, and in this case, it's also the girl's fault for not knowing what kind of guy her boyfriend is. The guy's still an asshole, though. XD
@letitbe56: it is social bias, but you can't say that guys aren't victims of it, as well. In the end, it makes it easier to figure out who's worth trusting. Also, about the girl crying when she was pulled over, if a guy did that, the comments would be directed at him and not guys because it's "unacceptable" for guys to cry. There are stereotypes for both women and men, and when they follow them, the comments will dismiss them as such, but when they break them, the comments will most likely be directed at the individual. Another reason why some guys would call out women on their stereotyped behaviour is due to their own insecurities. Men are often stereotyped as simple-minded, so some may feel the need to retaliate or disprove.
Okay, it doesn't fucking matter whether it happened to a guy or a girl. The point is that you'd feel like your life is fucked regardless of whether you're a guy or a girl. Although, I do have to agree with some people on here...just 6 months and no "I love you" is a little early to be taking a romantic vacation with him.
Girls do the same shit even worse? okay, please give me examples. Guys and girls are BOTH guilty of disgusting behavior like this but you cant honestly be serious when you say girls do it more often, and on a much bigger scale. gtfo of here. You have no idea what you're talking about. "guys have it worse in society" you just lost all respect right there, come back and tell me that when you have to be the one to face things like sexual harassment at your own job, or having to carry a weapon with you while walking home at night for the fear of being sexually assaulted. once you do those things, THEN come back and maybe we can talk.
79, i can see where youre coming from, but refer to where you said "in most developed countries, women are usually considered equals." but what about all of the UNdeveloped countries, which make up a goood portion of the planet? and "jokingly" or not, sexism is still wrong.
Well, even some developed countries are still extremely sexist, but most of North America and a lot/most of Europe have passed equal rights laws. Muslims (mostly in the Middle East, much of Africa and some parts of Asia) make their women wear veils (and follow Purdah) and don't allow them to leave the house unless accompanied by a man, if I recall correctly. This isn't a joke; this is what they honestly believe in, and it's become acceptable to both men and women of Islam. Men are also allowed to have up to 4 wives. THIS is sexism. I would never support sexism or any type of discrimination, but the jokes aren't intended to offend. Russell Peters is hilarious even though he picks on certain ethnic groups, but it doesn't make him racist, as long as he picks on his own ethnic group (to avoid hypocrisy and what WOULD seem like racism). This past school year, besides the students taking Spanish (which were few), all but one of the girls took cooking class, and that last one took carpentry with the guys. Because of this and History class (in which we learned the evolution of women's rights), we'd tell the girls to "make me a sandwich" every now and then. Sure, it may be humour at another's expense, but I'd rather make a sexist joke than make fun of someone's flaws or insecurities. I'll admit to my immaturity in my humour, but I'm not sexist and these comments are all made among close friends. I'm also the "sensitive" guy of my group, apparently, because I like romantic comedies and power ballads. My friends say that I've got a vagina, and that I'm growing pearls in them (which I think I started, but they bring it up a lot). There's a girl who hangs out with us a lot and is a tomboy, so the guys call her a man. We're all friends, so no one gets offended. That isn't the point of the jokes. Women perpetuate these stereotypes and social norms just as men continue their own. The reason they still exist is because we usually give in to society's expectations (rarely because we're afraid, but instead because of preference), but I admire those that attempt to break free of them. As another example: women were (and still are) often expected to take care of the house and kids. In my opinion, this is because they're generally (another stereotype, I admit) more compassionate than men, and men are generally (also another stereotype) more suited for hard labour. Technology advanced, but out expectations barely followed. In all seriousness, though, every time a woman is sexually harassed, I'm sure a man gets kicked in the balls or a slap across the face. One of my buds is known to pick on girls, but never to the point of harassment or assault, and he gets quite a few sacks. In law, they would consider the fact that he may have provoked a girl, but that isn't an excuse for assault. Haha, sorry for the huge wall of text. Then again, I think I'd only want to read the comments of those that would actually take the time to read something like this.
This would be pretty funny if you weren't serious. You have a dangerously misguided view of Islam. I would try reading a book on it or something, i could recommend some if you'd like. Afterwards, you proceed to tell us how sexist you are in your daily life. But it is okay that you're sexist because a) you're just joking :) and b) it could be worse! I'm sure all women appreciate you not being as mean as you could be. You should be canonized as a saint.
The jokes are made around my friends; they don't care. I wouldn't approach a random girl and make such a comment because it WOULD likely offend her, but the girls I know don't care. And my views on Islam were picked up through a quick read on Wikipedia (and I don't care enough to extend my informal education on the matter, because it isn't one of my interests). I don't attribute them to all Muslims. The Afghan government banned women from driving, but this is apparently attributed to cultural customs, not Islam, even though Afghanistan is still almost entirely Muslim. The dress-code (Hijab) also varies, but men need only cover "navel to the knees", while women are expected to cover all but their faces (and some are supposed to wear Chadors or Burqas, which cover all but the eyes). Women aren't generally treated with disrespect (they are considered equal to God), if I understand correctly, but their rights and traditions don't match those of men. The laws on women travelling alone are a little more relaxed now (it was more of a precaution than anything), it seems, but polygamy is still lawful within Islam (but highly unlikely to be carried out correctly, and not encouraged). Also, seeing as I'm not going to pick up any books concerning Islam, it'd be better if you just pointed out where I've been misinformed and correct me. It's easier to tell someone they're wrong than actually try to help them understand. Apathy and sarcasm hurt more than a sexist joke, tbh. This is the Internet, not school (it might be SPARTAAAA!!!1!1!1!!!1!11, though). I at least understand that Muslims are not terrorists (just some of the REALLY crazy "fundamentalist" ones). What it comes down to is that I'm trying to justify an insignificant part of my sense of humour, ignorant or not, and not my beliefs. And how exactly is my "misguided view" dangerous?
Hey again, I was actually pleased by what you wrote. Any misguided views can be dangerous. I'm a teacher in a high school, and I guess i have just seen too much. And a lot of what i seen has been mainly focused on sexism and religious misunderstanding. Whenever I see someone make a statement about being allowed 4 wives in Islam, i never see it accompanied by the fact that in the culture at the time, it was to protect the women. If a husband died of disease or in battle, the wife and children he left behind are fair game for slavery and all their items are claimed by others. (That is not a fault in Islam, that's simply how it worked back then.) If they married someone, this was no longer an option. Also, marriages were quite political. Who needs love when you can politically bind two dueling countries through marriage? Much sturdier than a treaty with signatures haha :) (which it proved to be!). So i mean, i did not mean to offend you. I have just seen too much in my day. So perhaps things set me off a little easier than others?
I also see a lot of social bias in favour of women where I live, but they aren't without reason. Girls are often hired before guys in minimum wage employment (Tim Horton's, especially), but that's because girls are usually less hesitant to work the cash and talk to people than guys are (who prefer to cook in the back, which also contrasts our association of cooking to women). I've also witnessed more waitresses than waiters, for the same reasons. There are also the insane insurance rates for young male drivers, but I've witnessed a lot of recklessness in my older brother and his friends on the road, so even that has reason. It's just unfair that a cautious driver would be charged for something he probably won't do. The (usually feasible) reasons for our expectations (and traditions) are deflating, but these norms can be slow to follow. That's my general understanding of sexism. That, and sex (premarital, the discussion thereof, etc.) is more accepted today, so guys are more open about it. I think Shakespeare may be partially to blame for that. XP