Today, a woman pulled out in front me and I couldn't avoid hitting...

By Two wrecks one car - United States - New Braunfels

Today, a woman pulled out in front me and I couldn't avoid hitting her. When we pulled off on the side of the road to inspect the damage, she backed into me. My car is only a month old. FML

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Transportation

Hi mom!

Cake is everything

Great quality control

By nutfreak - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

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By pissed off

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

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By Tabeling101

Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Paignton

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

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By in debt

Today, a tree fell on our 3-month-old family car. Today, I also learned that my husband never insured it. It's probably scrap, and we still have to pay it off for the next 5 years. FML

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By its dark - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's day three of our power being off because of a glitch in the power company's computer system. They won't turn it back on until we pay the $2000 we owe from 2010. We moved here in 2012. FML

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By jan420 - Norway - Moss

Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML

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By bummer.. - United States

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my college charged me for tuition for next semester. I graduated 2 years ago. I have a degree from a place too stupid to only charge current students. FML

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By Anon - United States - Bowling Green

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

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By Wow - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up from sleeping at my friends house with a bunch of other people, with my waist long hair cut into chunks on my pillow. FML

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By say no to dick - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

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By frustrated - United Kingdom - Gosport

Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/9/2020 16:01 - United States - Saint Paul

Dash and dine

Today, I was on a dinner date. Went really well. She said she was excited to have date number two. It came to paying. I went up to pay. Turned around. She had gone. Number blocked. FML

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By talwin - Reserved

Today, I discovered that the more money I earn, the more my personal belongings break down on me. FML

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By Cpt_Concerned - Canada

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

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By notacreeper

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

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By burnedboy - United States

Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML

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By ScreweD- - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Pulaski

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

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By OldBitch - 16/8/2020 02:01

Growing old gracefully

Today, I realized my breasts look like sweat socks and my ass is sagging so much, it slaps the back of my legs. My neck has grown three chins, and I have put on 40 lbs. Yes, the golden years are here at last, and they can certainly kiss my ass. Happy 50th to me. FML

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By kat - United States - Ocala

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Dover

Today, I was helping my Grandfather to sort through tubs and bins after cleaning out his attic, and I had to move a 50lb bin downstairs. That's when the dog thought it would be funny to block the top of the stairs as I was going down. FML

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By squarecircles - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML

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By Academia - United Kingdom

Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML

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By worksucker - United States

Today, 30 minutes before I was supposed to quit work at 6pm, my boss showed up. After telling him how the day went, he asked why I was still there. Apparently, for the holiday, we close early. 4 hours earlier. FML

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By -- - Canada

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

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By mary - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

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By Notcheating - 3/12/2019 18:00

Not a cheating!

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo.

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By dogshavenipples - United Kingdom

Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that the only part of my body that has had a reduction in size from changing my diet and working out isn't my stomach or my thighs but my already undersized breasts. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

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By not taking those! - 6/10/2020 23:07 - United States

Lobbied

Today, I called my insurance company begging for a new doctor. All my current one does is prescribe antidepressants for everything. Migraines? AD! Dizziness? AD! Birth control? AD! I’ve been having rough periods and I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to push pills to bill us more. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Oceanside

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

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By Ugggghhh

Today, I was that person in the pharmacy that held the line up for 25 minutes. When I got home, I realized I left my prescriptions in the shopping cart in the store's parking lot. FML

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By steph - Canada

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

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By Anonymous

Invisible Woman

Today, I accidentally overslept and missed a morning breakfast at work, one I never get to have when it happens. Not only did my boss say nothing about me being absent, he even asked me if the food was good. FML

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Top comments

By interesting33 | 36

#7674633 - Friday 10 August 2018 20:29

absolutely get the money from her insurance or sue. she backed into you!

By cacheson | 41

#7679978 - Monday 20 August 2018 23:49

I think you need a “backup” plan for transportation...

COMMENTS

By interesting33 | 36

#7674633 - Friday 10 August 2018 20:29

absolutely get the money from her insurance or sue. she backed into you!

By cacheson | 41

#7679978 - Monday 20 August 2018 23:49

I think you need a “backup” plan for transportation...

By Celestyna | 16

#7679980 - Monday 20 August 2018 23:54

This is why dash cams in cars are important!

By real life problems | 26

#7679988 - Tuesday 21 August 2018 1:15

This is why I have a dash cam. Video proof over any word.

By wanted_2_want | 40

#7680033 - Tuesday 21 August 2018 5:11

I thought this only happened in China.

I guess crooked people are everywhere

real life problems | 26

#7680100 - Tuesday 21 August 2018 10:06

Hey dat wacist

wanted_2_want | 40

#7680549 - Wednesday 22 August 2018 6:08

Good one.

By Sheepiebeepie | 26

#7680036 - Tuesday 21 August 2018 5:52

Dash cams are so important.

By GMSP | 18

#7680225 - Tuesday 21 August 2018 15:40

Well she can't avoid the hefty insurance spike and lawsuit she's gonna get.

By Davros | 12

#7680442 - Tuesday 21 August 2018 23:01

Back up insurance? You chose the wrong insurance plan. No I chose the wrong insurance company.

By yeongji | 31

#7680552 - Wednesday 22 August 2018 6:23

It sounds to me that she backed up into you on purpose in hope that there is more damage to her car so that she can get more money out of the accident. I hope you have a dash cam or there are witnesses.