Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
Punishing kids for blatant honesty. Gotta love society.
Hacksaw 4
Kids say the darnedest things.
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Comments (180)
SiLvEr_070 5
ROFL I hope it was a private school, that would eb TOTALLY EPIC =P
marsjunkiegirl 0
hahaha. I love this kid. But you should sorta make sure it doesn't happen again...
QWERTYCommander 5
You have sex within earshot of your daughter?
glasswater 0
You deserve it for a) using that kind of language around her, b) not teaching her what words are inappropriate, and c) doing SOMETHING that allowed her to not only use, but understand the meaning of the word ****.
LemonMan 0
What a great roll model you must be *sigh*
Blingup 0
Did the child ever watch Two and a half Men???? Blingup out
Blingup 0
Did the child ever watch Two and a half Men???? Blingup out
missangelj_08 0
WOW #9 you are dumb. You can get suspended from pre-school. I was suspended and kicked out when I was younger. Lol
Dutch_Guy 0
That is epic... You just have to love foulmouthed people (though not children, but ok), they are usually so must more eloquent than the frigid pristine ones... (Check out Stephen Fry on this subject http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_osQvkeNRM)
AngieVengeance 0
My son knows what bad words are (hes 5) because he's heard people say them..I dont curse in front of him at all and he knows better to say any word that is a curse word. You cant shelter your kids from hearing things but you CAN prevent them from repeating them by teaching them morals. I explain to my son that cuss words are rude and ugly and smart people like him never need to say those things because a smart person can think of better words to say to explain how they feel without being offensive.