Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
null_fml 11
Punishing kids for blatant honesty. Gotta love society.
Hacksaw 4
Kids say the darnedest things.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (180)
uzee 29
my cousin did the same last year. he's turning 11 this september
Freakkshoooww 0
The teacher deserves it for asking. What kind of question is that even? I hate when teachers act like "Oh, that's innapropriate what you just did." but they do it. I had a teacher that swore all the time in class, and if we swore we would get in so much trouble. It's stupid and hypocritical.
WillyShakes 0
You might want to take a hint from that to be a little quieter than.
QWERTYCommander 5
You **** in front of your kids? Sicko.
ChristineAnn58 8
Shut the **** up you fag 13 year old
mangachick1980 0
lol i luv this kid but she probably didnt get it frm her parents so dont bitch on them i mean i started swearing when i was 3 but thats india for u , they swear too much soooooo yea... nevermind
chauntell 0
I want mi kids to do that lol
Chaselovesme 0
It's weird but I agree haha
Musicmaniac_123 0
First of all why would u have sex in front of ur kid and second why would u use the word **** around her.
wriptidez 0
she copied what she heard
Kay1054 5
Well uh why the **** does your preschooler child know you **** and what ******* is?????
sweetalicious 1
???????????????