Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
Punishing kids for blatant honesty. Gotta love society.
Hacksaw 4
Kids say the darnedest things.
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Comments (180)
QWERTYCommander 5
Seriously? If I had a kid, I'd be proud if he knew what swear words meant at 5.
lerosa 0
that's hilarious!!!!!! ahahahahaha
p_q_fml 2
Hahaha total win
toxic10uhc 0
you should be ashamed OP. to do that with the kid obviously knowing what your doing... do you know how disturbing that is to hear your parents doing it in the next room and you can do nothing but wish they would stop? **** you.
Anteezy 7
Suspended from pre-school that's hardcore, I didn't even managed to do that.
spidergirl41 0
WIN
QWERTYCommander 5
Suspended for swearing!? In my day, you would just get a time out for that. I know a 13-year old shouldn't say "in my day..." but this calls for it.
confucious 0
that is so funny. good going kid.
hellokeroppi 5
how old is she?!
crazybabesam988 0
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