Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
Punishing kids for blatant honesty. Gotta love society.
Hacksaw 4
Kids say the darnedest things.
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Comments (180)
darcieslegit12 0
hmmm now you know that she knows the f word and that she knows what you do at night
Bullheard 0
soo how long was she suspended for?
upsidedownfrownn 5
I guess thats one way a preschooler gets suspended.
desertpunk75 11
At least your child is honest.
needsagf14 12
Not gonna sugarcoat this- you're terrible parents.
CaroAurelia 12
How does that make them terrible parents? Because she knows a bad word (and may not even know what she was saying)? Maybe they said it when they thought she wasn't around. Or maybe she heard it elsewhere. Kids are notoriously good at hearing things they shouldn't when they aren't supposed to be anywhere nearby and then echoing it at the worst times.
Baller_Bob 17
Was she wrong?
jmo091316 9
Just because she said that doesn't mean she knows what the word means...she could've overheard one of her parents say it and was trying to tell her teacher that her parents say that word, pre schoolers don't always use complete sentences so you don't know what she was actually saying...
SOILEDIT 51
Locking the door would help lol
dcrannberry 0
The real question is where she heard it from
anonomysqwerty 7
Omg this is too perfect, I hope that social services don't get involved