Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
Punishing kids for blatant honesty. Gotta love society.
Hacksaw 4
Kids say the darnedest things.
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Comments (180)
LOL_7052 0
For some reson this reminded me of the scene in "The Orphan" where Esther says, "I know. They f'ck." and later that mom is like, "What family did she come from?"
Weil 0
Wow, I thought of that too, and I didn't even like that movie.
null_fml 11
Omg, I thought of that too, and I've never even HEARD of that movie! ...wait...
trinatruffle 0
45 I saw that episode too! where the little kid threw a chair at the staff and got expelled from preschool... yeaahhh. but yeah. nice parenting
jelsew 0
/win.
Gossip_Luver 6
lol!fso freaking funny!wow,ur daughter told u!lol! XD
ambyellen 0
the teacher and principal were probably jealous because they don't get any at home, as they have no sense of humor!
AmeOwl 0
So wait, they're suspending a PRE-SCHOOLER for giving an honest answer?
shananigans 0
Another student could have put her up to it. When I was in first or second grade, I had no idea what it meant to stick up my middle finger. Some boy told me to stick it up at some other kid, so I did. The teacher just told me not to do it again though. It's amazing how many YDIs the OP is getting from people who clearly know nothing about children. There are more influences in a kids life than their parents.
M1RSH3 0
1st you don't suspend preschoolers. 2nd you shouldn't be that obvious around your children, that's disgusting, emotionally scarring, and is teaching them that being openly promiscuous is ok. LASTLY, YOU SHOULDN'T BE SPEAKING THAT WAY IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN SO THEY SAY ****! I'm glad you're not my mother!
Firetiger 0
Oh and this is a little suspicious because if she is in preschool then the teachers are more likely to come talk to you about what goes on at home than to punish her.
blland 0
get it on the news: "kid suspended for telling truth, authorities detained, controversy continues"