Kids and Video games: Father of the year

Father of the year

By Harvey knicks grandad - 10/02/2021 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my son told me he failed to get into the army, which I didn’t know he was trying to do. Apparently he thought playing Call of Duty non-stop counted as "experience" and that he’d become an officer rank straight away, despite being 10-stone overweight with the brains of a tree stump FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 260

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

You're not in the army now, oh oh ohoh

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 18:00

Today, my son was booted out of the army after one week for laziness, giving attitude to his training sergeant, sheer bloody stupidity, and asking the man who ran the on base shop if he could score weed anywhere on base. Even the army can’t sort out this asshole I gave birth to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 500

By Anonymous - 09/08/2014 13:31 - United States - Akron

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 357

You deserved it 7 366

By fuckmylife - 02/02/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 467

You deserved it 39 396

Not under my watch!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 22:00

Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 212

Soldier boy

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 12:00

Today, after my idiot son joined the army, flew out on deployment, he then flew straight back home again after accidentally shooting himself. His squad leader said it was the most bizarre accident he’d ever seen while still being considered an accident. As I said, my son's an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 233

So many questions…

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 22/11/2023 18:02 - Canada

Today, I finally got my son to go for a run. He broke his neck 4 months ago and has been playing video games the entire time. I was a competitive runner once and run everyday. He kicked my ass, 21 minutes for the first 5k and he sped up. He was back playing video games when I finally got home. I think I lost a lung on the trails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 632

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 393

You deserved it 6 682

Role models

By Feminist - 17/11/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 412

By Anonymous - 02/11/2011 14:43 - United States

Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 489

You deserved it 3 281

By IMSERIOUS - 22/01/2014 19:23 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 008

You deserved it 5 822

tounces7 27

Thursday 11 February 2021 17:17

Brains of a tree stump? Maybe he should try joining the marines instead.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 11 February 2021 3:40

He should try our army. They take anyone.

Comments

rainbowdonnareed 18

Thursday 11 February 2021 0:05

My daughter is the female Pauley Shore and she knows better. You raised him

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 11 February 2021 3:40

He should try our army. They take anyone.

kfchicken 31

Thursday 11 February 2021 12:05

well to be fair they do measure weight in rocks where he comes from.

OrySoma 11

Thursday 11 February 2021 12:44

its kinda hard to fail getting into the army 😅

Yudith 24

Thursday 11 February 2021 12:58

Army is full of intense physical exercise. Ironic how the guys who fail to get into the Army are the ones who need the Army the most.

tounces7 27

Thursday 11 February 2021 17:17

Brains of a tree stump? Maybe he should try joining the marines instead.

coius 23

Friday 12 February 2021 9:54

I laughed too hard at this. I know a marine who was so dumb, he got a live grenade stuck in his mouth trying to show off to the other cadets. Good thing he was an underling. He would’ve killed his platoon if he had any leadership positions.